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Dr. Z
Dr. Z, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 10547
Experience:  I have a doctoral degree in psychology and have a history of providing couple's and family therapy.
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I have stood by by my ex boyfriend yrs while he was in

Customer Question

I have stood by by my ex boyfriend for 2 yrs while he was in prison commisery, never missed a visitation, cared for his kids (which call me mom), he has been in the half way house for the last 3 mths home every weekend. I baught him a truck so he can get back and forth from work. Everything was fine with us so I thought. .2 Fridays ago his son calls me and tells me he kissed a girl. .I went were he was (with no warning).confronted him for cheating not telling him his son is the one that told me..he didn't deny nothing but didn't give any explanation either..so I told him I was done and told him to get his stuff out of my truck. The only thing he seemedad about was me taking the truck. So i took the truck and left..he never tryed to stop me..we have argued over a few text messages..I miss him do much! I want to work this out but I hear the day I broke up with him, he turned to the girl he kissed and is planning on moving her to a ranch house job which was our plans while he was in prison..why did he move on so fast? Is there a chance for us to work it out? I am goin on day 4 of the no contact rule and haven't heard from him at all..did he just forget about our last 2 yrs so easily? Is this a rebound relationship?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

*This website DOES NOT constitute treatment and only provides information and advice. For treatment (therapy and/or medications) you must go to a licensed professional in your area.

Hello, I am very sorry to hear that your boyfriend cheated on you like this, I can understand how hurt you must feel right now. The initial reason he kissed this girl (from what his son told you) was not a rebound relationship, but was his own choice to cheat on you either because that is the way he behaves and is not truly a person who commits in a relationship or because the opportunity was there and he was just "weak," and could not resist. But the plan to move this woman to a ranch house job afterwards can be considered a rebound relationship. Some individuals rebound fast like this because they do not like to be alone and need to be in a relationship to feel good about themselves, so that may be the reason here as well. If your boyfriend is willing to admit his faults here, apologize, and work to earn back your trust than it is possible for you two to reconcile, but he is the one that must reach out to you as he is the one at fault here. I know this is difficult for you, but you must continue the no contact rule as he is the one who broke your trust and had this "affair," so if he truly cares about you and wants to make it right than he will reach out to you.

I hope this answers your questions and gives you some guidance on this issue. Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns as I am happy to assist and support you regarding this issue.

*****YOU ARE ALMOST FINISHED…EXPERTS ONLY GET COMPENSATED FOR EACH POSITIVE RATING, SO I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD GENTLY MASH ONE OF THE 3, 4, 5 SMILEY FACES/STARS THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS MY PLEASURE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ISSUE*****

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Ok so let's say he gets over his anger at me how long could this take for him to contact me? Is he still thinking about even tho he is with this girl?
Expert:  Dr. Z replied 1 year ago.

I cannot read his mind, but if he truly cares for you than yes he would be thinking about you even if he is with this other woman. There is no specific timeline on when or if he will contact you, but usually if he does not contact you within 2-4 weeks than it would be best for you to consider moving forward with your life as he did not appreciate you like you did for him.

*****YOU ARE ALMOST FINISHED…EXPERTS ONLY GET COMPENSATED FOR EACH POSITIVE RATING, SO I WOULD APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD GENTLY MASH ONE OF THE 3, 4, 5 SMILEY FACES/STARS THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU GO. THANK YOU SO MUCH AND IT WAS MY PLEASURE HELPING YOU WITH YOUR ISSUE*****

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