I am Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher and professor and relationship expert. And I definitely appreciate your question. But it is very, very involved. I have written articles, and there are books ... BOOKS just on this topic.
So I am proposing two things: we can talk via this forum but give you one or two strategies at a time and explain them... Or I will send you my phone and Skype info through JA's question box and you can opt to communicate with me that way.
In short, I really want to help you. And I have a great deal of knowledge on this topic. But here is an analogy: Let's say Person A (We will call her Ann) wants to lose weight. She can try a quick route and do one of those juice diets for 3 days and allegedly lose 10 pounds (unhealthy) Or Ann can modify her diet, exercise, and lose weight slowly --the healthy option.
If you want a "quick" answer, there is none. I have taught university COUURSES just in relationship conflict. So again, I can share with you in increments. Or if you want me to opt out and let another expert help, I can do that also. Please let me know.
This is not an answer, so please do not think I am "blowing you off." I just want to be clear that it is not a quick fix issue. And I want to help but will now out if you would prefer. Please let me know!
-- Dr. Jackie