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TherapistMaryAnn, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1688
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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I don't know if it's love or just a crush, but there's

Customer Question

Hi, I don't know if it's love or just a crush, but there's this girl. I told her how I feel about her, and somehow she likes me too. But after a week, she said 'lets just be friends for now'. And I agreed to it and told her I understand, and now my mind just kept thinking about her, how can I forget her. Every time I'm around her with my friends, she flirts and talks to them more than she is with me, I don't know if she's making me jealous or not, I really don't understand. It's like she doesn't care at all, I fell one time and got hurt really bad and she didn't even help me, instead my friends come and help me, she just stood there and laughed. Please help me try and forget her.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.
Hi,I am Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher and professor, and I am also a relationship expert. I will try to answer this here; and then if you want to talk more later, we can. You are possibly right-- there are several possibilities. One is that she DOES like you as more than a friend and is "testing" you by flirting with others like you suggested. A slight variation in terms of possibilities is that by seeming to not care, it could be that she feels she has to cover her feelings, perhaps to protect herself from getting hurt. In other words, she may have feelings but be AFRAID to show them until she is sure you are truly interested in her. A third scenario is that she really does not feel the same way as you and was truthful when she said she wanted to be only friends. However, her actions at you falling reflect neither friendship nor romantic feelings. To laugh at another individual getting hurt is just unkind and thoughtless. I would try to meet her face to face for coffee perhaps or lunch and be honest and to the point--tell her how you felt when she laughed at you. Be careful though to not sound accusatory--avoid saying things like, "You make me feel..." No one can make you feel anything. So own your feelings and point out a particular action(s) that has/have hurt you. The laughing probably was an attempt to cover feelings of some sort--unless she truly is an unkind person. In that case, you do not need a friend like that. So again, be honest and convey your feelings...if she laughs or downplays the incident where you got hurt, move on. You deserve better! Let me know if you want to chat or email more on this Q & A. Best, ***** *****

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