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Eveningstargazer, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 155
Experience:  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT)
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I have a family concern. My wife's sister is always taking

Customer Question

I have a family concern. My wife's sister is always taking photos of her without her knowing it. These are odd looking photos of her-her talking, her bent over, close ups of her face. She also records people without them knowing it. This behavior has transferred to her 20 year old daughter as well. Whenever we are around them it is a constant recording and "gotcha" photos of all of us. In addition, her son (13) is a constantly having to have everything my son has (15). Shoes, sports team, video games, even underwear-it knows no limits. If my son likes it or says he likes it they will go out and buy it-they have much more financial resources than we do. And it is not just limited to him. Anything that we mention we would like they will go out and buy-golf cart, boat, travel trailer, etc. This has been going on for our entire marriage (over 20 years). I have never seen anything like this and am at a loss as to what to do.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Eveningstargazer replied 1 year ago.
Good afternoon, I will be doing my best to assist you this afternoon. It is unfortunate that you have had to deal with this for so long and I can see how it could be impacting you significantly. I see that you have confronted them about this situation and they have not taken you seriously about it. The first step in a situation such as this is to fully understand what you are frustrated about. Is it that you feel embarrassed by the pictures they are catching, is it concern for your privacy, or is it frustration that they are not being truthful. Once you fully understand this for yourself, you can take steps towards establishing a boundary with this family. This may include sitting the mother down and informing her about your frustrations/concerns and the consequences that you will put into place if the behaviors continue. By utilizing I statements such as "I feel vulnerable when I think I am being recorded." or " I feel taken advantage of when people are not truthful about their behaviors" will help you verbalize your concerns while keeping her from becoming defensive. The next step would be to follow through on whatever consequences you feel are appropriate, such as limiting the visiting time you spend with her family, etc. This is a decision you and your wife will need to come to together in order to both feel comfortable following through on it. Finally, with regards ***** ***** financial means and desire to "one-up" you family, this is something that can be discussed in a similar way although there are no particular consequences that would be appropriate other than consistent reminders regarding your concerns. Please let me know if I have fully answered your question by responding below with any additional clarification you may need. Thank you!
Expert:  Eveningstargazer replied 1 year ago.
Just checking in to see if you need any further assistance.
Thank you!
Expert:  Eveningstargazer replied 1 year ago.
Good Morning, If there is anything else I can assist you with, please let me know. As a gentle reminder, please accept my answer in order to signify that I have provided you with satisfactory assistance and am compensated for my time.
Thank you!