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Martin
Martin, Engineer
Category: Relationship
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Experience:  i'm 41 and i never stopped studying and experimenting
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Recently my boyfriend and I of 3 years have broken up.

Customer Question

Hello. Recently my boyfriend and I of 3 years have broken up. It was a really messy situation. We had been fighting that whole week and a day before we broke up he was so incredibly sweet and I blew him off. The next day him and I were fighting and I told him I needed to talk he seemed scared and upset. Well minutes later he was very mad at me because he saw a picture I had put on social media of a friend of mines baby(her brother is an ex) it was just a picture she had sent me. I wasn't anywhere near me ex. well my boyfriend at the time thought I was a cheater so he ended things. Well a day passed since we had broke up and some friends had let it spill that I had lunch with this friend of mine and kept it from my boyfriend. I didn't tell him about this lunch date because I didn't want him think I was doing more than just having lunch with a friend. He was always the over protective boyfriend and would have thought I was having lunch with my ex no matter how many times I told him I hated my ex. Well he found out about that and then he also found out that I had said to a friend, if I really wanted to be a jerk I could take my ex to a concert we had planned on going to before we broke up. I said this all out of anger. In not way shape or form do I want this ex back. I didn't even want my former boyfriend to know I had said that about the concert. Well for the past week I have been trying so hard to talk to him and try to make things right. I realize how stupid I was for saying what I did and by the way it all looks I would think he was cheating too. I've tried to explain the story and so have friends of our but he won't listen. He had cheated on me twice in our three years of being together and I took him back and we bettered our relationship but now he doesn't want to be with me over a lunch I had with a friend. Well I went over the other day to give him a box of his things back and tried to get him to give back what was mine but he didn't want to he said a bunch of hurtful things. I love him and I want to make things right but I have no idea how. He says he is really done with me and that if I lied about something. As small as a lunch then I would lie about something bigger. I'm an honest person and I hid this from him because I didn't want him to worry. Now I realize how stupid it was of me. He said he's done. It's been a week and he hasn't started talking to any new women but he also won't talk to me. I have no clue what to do but I need some advice.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
This guy means the world to me and I've told him that. He went to a party and few days ago and got drunk and made out with a friend of mine. When I dropped his things off at his house he told me that he told this girl he did not want a relationship with her and that he simply wasn't thinking while he was drunk. Well I took a friends advice and tried to make him jealous by taking a picture with a guy on snapchat. It was harmless but after he saw the picture he finally started talking to me. It's wasn't pleasant but it was the most talking he had done all week. I want him back so bad but I feel like a little school girl who is clueless how to handle this relationship stuff. A guy friend told me to act happy and once he sees that I'm okay then he will start to miss me. But I don't know what to do I don't want to make matters worse but I seem to be doing that because I keep trying to text him. What are some signs he could really be done? I mean after three years could he really not love me anymore?
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
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Expert:  Martin replied 1 year ago.
Many assume that boys need girl and inversely. This is not the case, especially in an urban environment. Could he dump you after 3 years, yes. He have no proof and is just assuming that you cheated, put the proof finding on his side and that is not serious and show a lack of maturity. Nobody dropping someone want to come back and say they are sorry right away, they don't want to lose face, their ego is too high. It is normal for him to take time.Don't text him, don't call him, go speak to him. Put effort into it, make it count as if it was your last chance. Until you both have a strong plan for the future and a goal you can share, your relation will always shake in the wind like it did this time and this is the sad truth. And remember, don't talk and argue about the past with him, talk about his future.

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