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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3148
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He is friends

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My ex boyfriend broke up with me about a month ago. He is friends with my friend who is a female. I met her threw my ex boyfriend. I know there is nothing going on between them because she's living with her partner she's been with for 6 years. I have became very good friends with both of them.Anyway, she keeps bringing him up in conversations and then last week she told me that he asked about me again and she tells me that she tells him how well I'm doing and that i got a new job and things are good with me. Then he asked if i was still at my old job and she told him nope she's working at both places. After she told me that, she said that he looked sad and that when they all went out he sits at the back seat of the car and looked at where i used to sit and said i never knew there was a rip on the seat because Kayla (me) use to sit here then he pretended to cry. kinda like he was venting to his friends. So now this week she's telling me that i should move on, but how can i do that when she keeps asking questions about him and bring him up in convos and telling me that he asks about me. She told me she regrets telling me about him asking about me because she saw how happy I looked when she told me and I'm just guessing that she knows something that i don't know. So my question is whats gong on here? I was with my ex for 2 and a half years and we were saying i love you to each other and holding and kissing each other while at the same time he's trying to break up with me. Im so confused, Is my friend trying to cover up for him by telling me to move on? We all know its easier said then done. What do you think is happening here? Im getting mixed signals here. I would like to reconcile with my ex if its possible at some point.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.
The reason things are mixed up is because she is sticking her nose in the business of both of you confusing you and making you long for him. If she does it again, I would let her know that you desire her not to ask or fill you in on things with him and not report back to him about your life. She needs to mind her own business.
I am sure he misses you, but if he ended things then he had his reasons...give him some time and if he does miss you to the point of wanting to be back together then he will reach out. Moving on is not easy....all you can do is put one foot in front of the other each day and go from there. Things do get easier in time, but less so if she keeps filling your head with nonsense. It is not very care-taking so do what you need to do to set a boundary for yourself around that.

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