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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 2813
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I was seeing this guy 3 months who got out of a 12

Customer Question

I was seeing this guy for about 3 months who got out of a 12 year relationship 7 months ago , he seemed completely into me - we did everything couples do - went out with his friends and there gfs, introduced me to his family, bought me all these nice gifts
- he acted like he was all into a serious relationship talking about family always and what he wants in future - the last time i saw him he came to my birthday and met my friends for the first time - after my birthday he went away to a bachelor party - he
came back and was sick - and i left 3 days later for a trip with my girlfriends - he was messaging me while i was away but wasnt being his usual self - i kind of backed off and he kept messaging me - than when i got back from my trip he texted me the next
morning saying He was not feeling this anymore - that im amazing person but when he got back from his trip he just didnt have an urge to want to see me and couldnt be fake with me - i just dont understand how someone goes away and put all that effort in to
not even see me one more time to see if anything is still there before letting me go ? and even to not end it face to face and do it over text message - the guy is 36 years old.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
he also told me that it has nothing to do with another girl and it is something he cant explain its just he didnt have the feeling to want to see me when he came back
Expert:  TherapistJen replied 1 year ago.
Sadly text messaging has become the easy way to deal with things and sadly it has hurt a lot of relationships as people don't take the time to talk and meet in person. What changed for him? Not really sure...it could be many things having nothing to do with you...coming out of a long relationship he just may want to be on his own and do his own thing. His feelings may not be as strong as you had hoped and easier for him to back away rather than try to see if it can work.
but dating someone after they have come out of a long relationship with another can be a hard road and many of his feelings may be unresolved no matter whom ended the relationship.
So, dust off, move on and find someone that is in the same place as you...willing and able to spend the time and do the work to have a great relationship.

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