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DrJackiePhD
DrJackiePhD, Doctor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 347
Experience:  I have been doing research in relational/interpersonal communication since 1998. My Ph.D. is in interpersonal communication.
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Why in relationships do fathers lie obsessively ?

Customer Question

Why in relationships do fathers lie obsessively ?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.
Hi,
I'm Dr. Jackie, an interpersonal communication researcher/professor and relationship counselor/expert. I'd like to help answer...
Your question is rather broad, so I will do my best to provide you with a few options and then maybe we could talk more specifically later if you want based on your own details and father's behaviors.
To start, one reason fathers like is pretty obvious and is why most people lie--to hide things. Most dads want to be viewed by their sons and especially daughters in a positive light. So if lying is part of making that image seem shinier and brighter--some people (including dads) will do it. It's not exactly self-preservation but it IS self-presentation.
A second reason a parent (dad or mom) may lie is to protect you. It may be partially to protect their own image in your eyes (Reason #1) but could also be joined with this reason--to shelter you from a dim reality of maybe who they really are/what they have done. So it might be to protect you or protect their image or a combination of both.
A third possibility is that the man is a sociopath and does not care when it comes right down to it. He may appear superficially charming and/or caring, but that is all it is--superficial. These people have no real attachments to anyone, spouse or children included and feel no sympathy, remorse for wrong doing, etc. So lying literally comes naturally.
A fourth idea is that the dad lives in a fantasy world he has created. In other words, it really is true that some people can lie so often that they actually believe the lies. They may want something to happen so badly they will promise ponies and lavish gifts and the moon to their loved ones (i.e., their children) and then hate to disappoint so create more lies to cover why these things--gifts, vacations, etc. did not happen.
So there are 4 reasons why a dad may lie to his child, grown up or still young. Do you want to explore any other possibility or perhaps your own personal concerns? I'll send you my phone and Skype information also in case that will make it easier.
Please let me know if this has helped or is at least a start.
Take good care,
--Dr. Jackie
Expert:  DrJackiePhD replied 1 year ago.
Hi,
I'm just following up. I'm hoping I still helped. If I did, would you mind "ACCEPTING" my answer? If I didn't go in the direction you had hoped, will you let me know so that I can provide a better answer?
Thanks! Please take good care,
--Dr. Jackie

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