Hi and welcome. I'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.I am sorry to hear of how much pain you are in. I am also sorry that he places the blame on you...he has left...twice..and you had every right to connect with whomever you desired. Him using the ex as a reason he left is a way to deflect his own actions.I know you are hurting, but it sounds to me like mourning needs to happen so that healing will come. I hear your love for him, but it does sound to me like things are over and it would be hard to go back and nor do I hear a desire on his part to go back and be together. So, it is up to you now to figure out how to move forward with your life and your children and begin your healing.