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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5220
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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Don't know, how does this work?

Customer Question

Don't know, how does this work?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 1 year ago.

Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue. I'm assuming this question here is also in reference to your previous question about your relationship with the 27 year old girl. Your questions were:

Should I stay in touch with her or should I just let things go for good? It's such a weird feeling that in my heart there is a fleeting hope that she would come back, but it might be just a bruised ego that she would want to make it work with someone in that position that with me? Deep down I know it would never work with someone like her?


Let's start by looking a little closer at what she's shown you about herself. And from what you say, the dominant feature that emerges is that she seems to generate and seems to need a lot of drama as well as control. And these two attributes when they are dominant in a woman most often result in the attraction even after you know it's not good for you.

So, I can imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. On one hand, you do recognize that to getting further involved with her is not healthy for you. On the other hand she has a magnetic attraction.

And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. Women who generate and thrive on drama have a tremendous allure: they feel alive being with them has an intensity, etc. But the control comes with it very often, as here. And then you can feel used up after a while.

I think, therefore, you need to follow your own statement: there is a part of you that recognizes "Deep down I know it would never work". That's your wisdom talking from my experience. The urge to stay in touch, the fleeting hope, that's the masculine impulse to go for that alluring siren out there. I think you also know that it's important for you to follow your own wisdom.


Okay, I wish you the very best!


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Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 1 year ago.
Hi. I'm checking in to see if the reply was helpful or if you need more follow up. I would be very interested in hearing back from you on whether you thought my response was helpful or if we need to continue with further discussion. My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Thanks, ***** *****

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