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Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I think I can help you with this situation. please give me a minute to reread your message, is that fine?
Hey Rafael, I'm Ryan. Thanks a lot for reviewing my question. I know it is a bit long.
Thank you, Ryan
I can see it has become challenging for you to read this person's behaviors.
You just met recently , right?
Yeah I'm really not sure right now. She did say not at all when I said my bad I came on too strong. Yes we met last Thursday.
So you do not know much about each other but from what you have shared in this short period of time, correct?
Yes, just one date so far.
What I see is that you showed her you are really interested and you wanted to work on it without delay, and this behavior could be taken as very proactive and passionate, as fine or pushy, depending on how the person happens to think, feel and what she has learned from previous relationships.
Yeah that's what I was thinking. I don't want to ask her where do we stand you know. But I also don't want to waste my time.
I do not see anything wrong in your behavior. i see you took initiatives and she responded well, taking your invitations when she felt ready and available and that you did have a great time in your first date, and that your communication has shown the same interest for each other.
You have just started to share, to explore and learn about each other, then it is too soon for you to know how good match you could be, first you have to know each other well enough, by sharing, then you will find out if it does work for you or not
Right now I do not see anything wrong, and she could be just honest about her schedule, stress and health or not, you will know with time, please be patient, it seems to be absolutely worthy, you just do not want to undermine your chances with this person in case you have what is needed to make it work.
Yeah I know and I'm trying to get to know her, but I also don't want to push her away like you said. I am trying to be patient. But she never afforded any counteroffer to "I'll have to see." Like," I do want to see you maybe this week, but this week may not work for me, if not that's do next week." She never said anything like that, so I do not want to push her. I think I should just leave it up to her to reach out to me at this point? Haha I don't know, this stuff can be so confusing at times.
You need to calm down and come to terms with the fact that healthy and fulfilling relationships start by being patient, respectful of boundaries, and giving each other time to explore and learn about each other, otherwise you would just be acting out impulses without knowing how the other person thinks, feels, what she wants and expects from you, and without that it would be impossible for you to truly respect her and play a healthy and nice role in what you share.
Give her time, she already know you want to see her, but you also need to show how well you care, understand and support her. Right now she is telling you she is very stressed because of her work schedule. Then always offer if there is anything you could do to support her. Then just wait for her to get back to you about it. If you keep regular communication, then keep it, be consistent with it, without being pushy. then in the following days and weeks you will know from her actions, availability and openness to share or not if she is really interested or not.
Ok, that does make a lot of sense. I'll give her some more space, and maybe text her tomorrow to see how she is.
The best way you can show a person you really care, and are serious about your feelings and intentions is to respect her boundaries, showing empathy, understanding, patience and support.
Ok thanks Rafael!
You're very welcome.