okay I'm in no rush and whenever you're up to replying I will wait. I just want to know if further detachment is possible in time. I've been working very hard even though he is trying to suck me in with control and passive aggressive type behaviors. I started out the weekend with being very into taking care of my own needs and emotionally detached from him. He seemed to have come up to my room several times to get my attention on an item that he was talking about. (He never does that so I thought he felt that controls slipping away from him) It was hard for me to believe that what he was talking about was the agenda (car insurance)rather it was probably more about control. In time, after an entire weekend of subtle and not so subtle abuse, mostly emotional got to me in and I let him have it. I really let him have it and that affecting my health at the end of the weekend. Just when I thought I was doing great being detached I slip backwards. I just want to know if in time I can master this better
Thank you. Every time I set a boundry, he finds a way to violate it. Its a stressful way to live.
Yes, in his passive aggressive behaviors, non cooperation, sulking, simple issues becoming chaos, refusing to acknowledge or admit the obvious, ignoring my existance, insensitive to my suffering of disease. Wont put things away, anddeliberately out things in the wrong place, or makes an unusual amount of noise in the kitchen, slams doors, or best one I like the most is spend hours in thebackyard.When I must set a boundry, its so constant, that it becomes the only type of interaction we have. Almost like parent, child. Now, its a
His sarcastic...yes mam. The" yes mam" is his disrespect, but also his way of trying to turn the tables, as though I am the demanding one. further detachment is crutial, because it affects my pain level.
He works over that because he has so many abusive tactics up his sleeve. He will push and push. I wonder how this will play out long term.
But the kicker is he feels like the victim.
Okay, I will work on it. My health depends on it. Thsnks for your time. Good day . Its much appreciated Kate.:)
weather is traits of a disorder or the actual disorder itself, I think you would agree that the effects are the same. I know the diagnostic criteria talked about tha pervasive e facpattern which means a cross the border in all settings and I don't know if that's true for him
and besides this disorder he doesn't seem to truly care love or be concerned aboutme
Yes! Plus the lack of empathy. Sigh.. I wont take any more of your time today. Thanks Kate xo
Sorry to hear that. You know full well about it. Kate, are you able to 'detach' successfully and mimize its effects?
Yes, share with those you truly trust, or those who have earned it. Keep boundries. Yes, very draining, and it does go against instinct which is part of the reason its draining. Just having to be constantly protective and on guard in order not to get hurt. I will believe that I can get better at this. Thank you. You certainly understand with depth.
Its hard to fathom a human beings need to devalue in order to feel a sense of power. I think true strength comes from valuing others. Who knows
I see, and even worse when the mal adaptive patterns are denied and perpetuated, (unchanged)causing life long harm to self and others
Thanks Kate. Its a slim chance, I wont hold my breath. Ive enjoyed talking to you. I appreciate all the support, empathy and wjsdom you have offered. Your time as well.