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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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HOW TO DEAL WITH MY NEPHEWS GIRLFRIEND? THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER

Resolved Question:

HOW TO DEAL WITH MY NEPHEW'S GIRLFRIEND? THEY HAVE BEEN TOGETHER FOR 2
YEARS MY NEPHEW IS A CAB DRIVER AND DOES NOT MAKE ALOT OF MONEY! THEY MET
AT WORK AND HAD BEEN LAID OFF BECAUSE SHE WAS THE DISPATCHER THE ACCUSSED
HER OF GIVING MY NEPHEW MORE CALLS. THIS WAS AFTER 3 MONTHS SHE HAD A
APARTMENT HE MOVED IN WITH HER. HIS GIRLFRIEND COULD NOT FIND A JOB AND
THE BILLS WERE ALL ON HIM. THIS WAS A NOT MY NEPHEWS WAY OF LIFE. HE
NORMALLY LIVES WITH WOMAN AND THEY TAKE CARE OF HIM WELL HE WAS TAKING
CARE OF HER FOR ABOUT 1 and 1/2 years AND THEY BECAME BEHIND ON THE RENT AND
HAD TO MOVE OUT AND THEY MOVED INTO A FRIEBD OF MY NEPHEWS. THEY HAVE A
LITTLE ROOM THERE AND IT IS REALLLY HARD TO LIVE LIKE THIS FOR ANYONE!
MY NEPHEW IS NOT GOOD WITH MONEY AND HIS MOTHER PAID FOR THE STORAGE
GARAGE 3 MONTHS AND I PAID HIM TO PAY THE 4TH MONTH BUT THAT MONEY WENT''
SONE WHERE ELSE. THEY LOST ALL THERE POSSESIONS. SO I LET HIS GIRLFRIEND
COME HERE TO WASH THERE CLOTHES! I AM A VERY NICE PERSON AND REALIZE
THAT THAT SHE LIVES IN A TINY ROOM AND ALLOW HERE TO STAY HERE FOR A FEW
NIGHTS A WEEK. TO TRY TO GET HER OUT OF THERE WHILE MY NEPHEW WORKS!
SO LAST NIGHT HE PICKED HER UP AND TODAY I RECEIVED A CALL FROM HER TO
COME PICK HER UP? SHE TOLD ME THAT MY NEPHEW THROUGH HER OUT? SO
I TOLD HER THAT SHE COULD NOT STAY HERE AND I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT!
I AM SCARED SHE WOULD STAY HERE BECAUSE SHE HAS NO WHERE ELSE TO GO!
SHE ALSO HAS THE MOST ADORABLE CHIAHUHUA DOG! WHY DO I FEEL MISERABLE?
I ALREADY TAKE CARE OF A DISABLED BROTHER, NIECE AND NEPHEW AND I HAD
A STROKE 12 YEARS AGO. THIS WOMAN IS VERY NICE AND WE BECAME FRIENDS
BUT WHAT CAN I DO TO NOY FEEL SO BAD!!
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 10 months ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It helps to remind yourself that you have done all you can to help your nephew's girlfriend. There is only so much you can do. And the idea of helping someone is to give them a boost so they can do the rest on their own. You are not obligated to support her or completely take over her life so she doesn't have to support herself. Ultimately, you are doing her a favor by helping her then letting her work this out on her own because she will be stronger for it. Continue to remind yourself of that each time you feel bad. And know that anyone looking at what you have done for her would agree you have been more than kind to her.

If this does continue to bother you, consider talking to a therapist. A therapist can help you find out why you feel so guilty and if that is a sign of deeper issues.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5469
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
Kate McCoy and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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