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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience:  Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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My granddaughter is getting married to a man 20 years older.

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My granddaughter is getting married to a man 20 years older. She is 23 he is 43 He was a church pastor. This is a relationship of 5 years now.
they started a relationship secretly and now it is well known by all. Her parents have
done everything possible to break this up and they can't. They do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore. They are having a church wedding in another town.Is it wrong for me to go to the wedding because I love her and be against her parents wishes.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Kate McCoy replied 1 year ago.
Hello, I'd like to help you with your question.

It sounds like your granddaughter is facing a lot in order to marry her fiance. And it is good she has sought out support through therapy. She may feel alone and scared about her situation. The opposition to her marriage could also be encouraging her to go through with it. Rebellious feelings would not be unusual for someone her age, especially when she is trying to establish independence from her parents.

It is ok for you to go to the wedding of your granddaughter, even given the situation she is in and the man she is marrying. You love her and your support is important. And right now, she needs you. She is facing a lot of broken relationships if she choses to go through with her marriage, with little support for her decision. And if her marriage turns out to be a good one, she will remember you as one of the ones that supported her. And if her marriage turns out badly and she gets hurt, you can be there for her providing the support she may not get from others in the family.

Continue to approach this just as you have. Put your love for your granddaughter first. If your relatives object, tell them that you care about your granddaughter no matter what and you want to be there for her which is the most important thing to you. Try to avoid picking sides regarding the man she is marrying and what your relatives feel about her marriage. Your granddaughter will make her own choices regardless. And you want to be there for her no matter what.

I hope this has helped you,
Kate









May I please request that if you find the service I provided helpful at all that you rate me with three or above? Your rating is the only way I am reimbursed for my answer. Thank you so much!
Kate McCoy, Counselor
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5578
Experience: Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
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Kate McCoy
Kate McCoy
1568 Satisfied Customers
Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues