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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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My boyfriend and I are a serious couple, been going out for

Resolved Question:

My boyfriend and I are a serious couple, been going out for about 3 years now. He applied for a internship overseas for a year and I thought nothing of it at the time but he told me they were seriously considering him and now I'm concerned about our future together. I haven't told him yet how I feel but I'm worried that at some point during this year apart I'll get fed up with feelings of loneliness, and at the time he applied I was actually hoping they would reject him. I know that's terribly selfish of me but I'm really worried about continuing the relationship, i feel as if I should ask him for a break so I can used to not seeing him. HELP.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you with this situation.

Your concerns are well founded, for long-distance relationships are difficult to endure and to maintain

You know your needs and our limitations, and are not out of order being influenced by them.

You state that you feel that you may be terribly selfish.

However, he did not have to apply for an internship out of the country, but he did. Wasn't that equally selfish?

Now it is too late to ask him not to apply outside the country. However, if he also has an option to stay in the country then he can choose that one.

I think that it is never too late for frank and honest discussion between the two of you, to share your thoughts and feelings with him. You have been together for 3 long years and you probably owe each other an honest reckoning rather than just getting a break.

If he takes the intership, you WILL have a break and then ouo can see how it goes.

You may be able to endure the separation while he is gone, or you may decide that ou need to date to have some human company and perhaps even romance.

The company may reject him, so you should proceed with caution, taking one step at a time.

I understand that your instincts tell you to cut and run now, but you have more to lose that way than you do by taking the slow, step at a time approach.

I know it would seem to ease your anxiety by just breaking now, but in the long run you need to be prudent and not burn your bridges.

I wish you great success and pray that this will work on in your best interest.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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