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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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This is what he said ( When you die I hope that you go to

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This is what he said ( When you die I hope that you go to hell so that you can see what you put me through) he told me that he has thought this way for a long time, he could not even apologize for that statement, I just don't know if I can forgive him for that without an apology, im dumbfounded, but I love this son of a bitch a lot what should I do
Submitted: 8 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear XXXXX,

I can understand why you are so upset. This was not just an off-the-cuff outburst, according to what he told he.

Rather, it was a statement of feelings that have been pent up inside of him for a long time. He may not feel this way all of the time, but only occasionally.

Other truck drivers manage to keep their jobs going AND manage a family. I believe that there are limits that may even be set on how much a trucker can drive without taking some time off.

Could it be that there are other reasons that he is away from you so much?

He may really be in a position where he has to work this much but if he is then he cannot handle it without this anger.

He may be very depressed as well.

Because I am not able to talk to him, I can only speculated as to what is going on. If it is something that he wishes to keep to himself, he will not tell you or another person.

Ask him if he is unhappy in the relationship because he is talking in such a cruel and destructive way.

Tell him that you want to make a go of the marriage but he must want to as well, and you cannot have a relationship if he curses you with such anger.

You do need to work this through, and he must be willing to do it as well, for you cannot do it by yourself.

You need to develop better communications skills and in your case the best way to do it would probably be with the assistance and encouragement of a licensed professional marriage and family therapist.

He may not go for this and may respond with more anger, either because he is too manly or proud to rely on outside help, or because he does not want to change things.

If he does not realize how badly he has hurt you made you feel that he doesn't want to make this work, then let him know. If he understands how critical this is then he will take positive action to save the relationship.

If he refuses to take a step or two backwards, then your relationship will continue to go downhill.

What do you think is behind this? Stress? Depression? Another woman? Something else? Any other signs or red flags?


Warm regards,

Elliott

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
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Customer: replied 8 months ago.
because I was on the computer when he came home and immediately closed what I was doing he got a attitude and kept the fight going, he ate his supper and not grilled cheese said they were cold and could not believe that I made them so early, I reheated them for him and he ate them, but before that he got very mad and said that it was over that he was tired of the bull shit and me, I got very upset and as we were in his car I got him to relax and come back in the house after pretty much taking most of the blame, than we did talk with me mostly saying that it was my fault, that I was the crazy one, he did say that he was sorry but I really don't believe him, but I still love him so much, why, am I that crazy to love someone that lets me take the blame for everything, I did mention to him about what he said about when I die and he still did not apologize at all , all he could say is do you blame me for all you put me through. So I told him I am so sorry that I thought I could talk to him about anything but I guess I am wrong, that I will not bother him with none of my problems again and I promise I will try my best to not talk to him about my family, job or nothing , the conversation will only be focused around him. Why do I love him so much, why do I put up with this so much, I know I play games with him to try to get a reaction from him which I shouldn't but I am not afraid to say im sorry
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

You are the victim of a narcissist it is up to you to get out of this relationship as quickly as possible - and don't look back.

I would like you to look at this website, and the video that comes with it. The author is one of the world's foremost authorities and writers on narcissists. He he Sam Vakin. Read it carefully. You may have to re-read it. Watch the video. You will see other videos n the YouTube site it goes go, by Sam Vaknin. Watch and read and learn and you will understand how narcissist works and how he keeps you trapped - and how you can find the strength to break free.

I you were in a house that was on fire, you'd sure find the best way out - or perish.

You have to break out of this house and leave this relationship if you want to survive.

http://samvak.tripod.com/faq38.html

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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