Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am sorry to know how your marital situation has been deteriorating this much, it's very sad but it is real, denying or avoiding it could never help but only lead to further pain.
What you have described here is very sad since it shows how your husband has not been truly honest nor truly loved you from the very beginning, before you got married, and that you got married not because you had real mutual deep respect, affection, passion and commitment to each other.
You said that you got married not because both were truly committed to build a life together, not because there was real reciprocity in your love, passion and commitment, since he was already showing you through concrete actions he was always hoping to get together with this other woman, right?
Right, and that has been reality even before you got married, which is just devastating for any person in your shoes
Because it shows he has not been even respectful nor caring about your feelings for all this long but used you. Unhappily you were aware of it from long ago but attached to the hope that things would get fine someway, but reality has been consistently showing you that things have not changed at all.
Thus denying or avoiding to face reality even longer could not help you but only deeper your wounding, fueling further pain.
It would become a bigger and more painful illusion that could only damage yourself and life even more
You're welcome. I am sorry to confirm this overwhelming reality., but you need and deserve to have a healthy life, with real respect, understanding, healthy love and passion, real commitment and not to be used, abused nor neglected at all.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions and to follow up, since I am here willing to support you as possible. Take gentle care.