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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5170
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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I reconnected with a girl I have had a crush on for 16 years.

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I reconnected with a girl I have had a crush on for 16 years. We reconnected through the internet and found out we live down the street from each other. She told me that she knew I had a crush on her but I never had the guts to ask her out. So 2 weeks in talking to her on the internet, I opened up to her and she liked it but she said she wasn't ready to have a relationship with me and couldn't reciprocate the feelings I had for her because she had feelings for the guy she was seeing at the time. A week later she asked me for my advice on her relationship with the guy. She told me that all he does is basically use her for sex and she always wanted more from him. I told her that he's just using you for his own needs and isn't loving you and respecting you like you deserve and he isn't going to love you like you want him to. So she took my advice to heart and cut him off completely. She told me she deleted his number but he keeps on texting her. I told her he just wants his needs fulfilled and she told me it ain't going to happen. I asked her out again and she said that I deserve better and she feels bad for rejecting me because I'm a sweet guy. I came into town from college and we spent about 2 hours together with her best friend walking around downtown and drinking coffee. She asked me later on online since we haven't seen each other in a long time if my opinion changed about her. I told her that she's older, mature, and curses alot but she is still the beautiful girl that I remember. Three weeks later I told her I had a dream about us being together and she said that I think it's best that we no longer be friends because friends can't have feelings for each other. I dropped the subject and we continued to talk everyday. I always send her poems, notes, motivational and inspirational speeches, and jokes to make her happy. 2 weeks ago I was in town for a funeral and she asked if I wanted to have coffee together. I of course said yes. I met up with her and got in her car. She immediately took off her sunglasses and looked dead at me with this look and said to me this is what I look with out makeup. I responded with your so beautiful and you shouldn't hide that natural beauty with makeup. She said aww, your too sweet. We drove around together for about an hour telling each other our life stories and she kept her sunglasses off, often glancing at me while driving. Then she opened up to me a bit when asking why I chose my major because she said I was way too nice to fire anybody. She said I was smart, sweet, wouldn't hurt a fly, and cute. While we were driving she even touched my hand. I was thinking I opened up way too soon and she wanted to get to know the real me before making a decision. When I left back for school in the wee hours of the morning, she called me and we talked for an hour while I was driving back to school. I was supposed to hang out with her the night before, but she forgot and kept apologizing to me. Even when I got back in to my dorm and on the internet she said sorry again. I told her that it's ok, we'll have a whole week to hang out and do things together. She replied with a smile. Next week I'm going to pick her up from work and we're going to hang out for a bit. I asked her out for breakfast and she said YAY!. Yesterday she said I always make her smile and she likes everything I write to her. She told me she was dying her hair blonde, and I remember telling her earlier in our conversations that I thought she looked real cute with blonde hair. I told her, are you trying to kill me? lol. fyi you look good with blonde, red, light brown, dark brown, black hair as long as your beautiful face of yours is there, you look beautiful in any color. She told me I'm so sweet. But I finally admitted that she looks real good with blonde hair and she sent me a smile. I told her that thanks for letting me have an input and she makes me feel special and she responded because you are. I'm thinking as each day goes by she is liking me more and more and is developing feelings for me.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 1 year ago.

Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this question.

I can imagine how exciting this must be for you. You are clearly that really nice and sweet person she says that you are. And she seems to be recognizing it and not so scared of herself as much as she used to be. And that is making her willing to look at you with more interest. It really is very exciting!

And this is actually the key to my answer to you that you need to consider and think about. From what you wrote to me it truly seems that she has had a problem feeling good about herself, not about you. Her feelings of not being worthy, not being really a good enough person has made her not be able to connect with you is the impression that is made here.

Her increasing willingness to get closer to you and be more flirty and open with you is really very encouraging and seems like that she's feeling more comfortable with herself being okay enough to be with a nice sweet guy and not someone who's domineering and just uses her.

So, keep on being you and encouraging her and expressing yourself to her as you have been. This is very exciting and I hope that she will continue moving in this direction.

Okay, I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Should I do anything special next Saturday morning for her? Should I try to hold her hand while in the car? SHould I tell her how beautiful she is with her new blonde hair?

Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 1 year ago.
If you were going to continue doing what you have been doing so far, would you hold her hand while in the car? Would you tell her how beautiful she is with her new blonde hair?


Because that is what I would recommend you do: don't do less than what you've been doing. Just be YOU. That is who she is trying to get to feel comfortable with, you. So be you. And if this is something you enjoy doing (which is really great), then do it.


I wish you the very best!

My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5170
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships