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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3032
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Hello, i am 20 years old boy and i dont know how to make a

Resolved Question:

Hello, i am 20 years old boy and i dont know how to make a relation with a girl in university please help me
Submitted: 5 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 5 months ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello. Would you want me to support you answering this question?

Customer:

Hello, yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Sure. thanks.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Let's talk about it

Customer:

i just feel very alone and always like this

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can see that

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Remember we talked about you gently pushing yourself to start taking one step at a time, choosing one activity where you could share with other people, another person about anything healthy you may want, as a way for you to start developing these necessary social skills, and for you not to feel this isolated and depressed?

Customer:

yes there rafael, this is what i started another now for next session, i really depressed i dont know how to continue life

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Waht if you think about 2 to 3 things, activities , of any type, that you could enjoy doing, that could bring some meaning, joy or fulfillment in your life, what would those be?

Customer:

Nothing, this is my problem

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please think what could help you , whether using your physical body, mind, intellect, spirituality, something related to art, anything that you may enjoy, try to remember what you used to enjoy in the past before you got this depressed.

Customer:

always been internet sir, but internet will make me virtual man and i dont want it

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The motivation and joy, feeling comfortable and happy with these activities would not suddenly appear,and you cannot afford waiting for that to happen, this is why you need to literally work on building these skills and the motivation to engage in healthier ways of coping. living and experiencing life.

Customer:

thats true, what you suggest me to do in real life not internet sir? what joy ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

This is tough, will take time, but it is necessary and worthy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Choose anything that seems compatible, not negative for you to try, something healthy, even if you feel not much interest or with the mood, and work on doing it. The more you try soemthign the better you wudlfeel nd the easier it would get.

Customer:

i dont know why everything i want to try , somehow it will connect me to electrical things or internet or mobile

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Why don;t you try using the internet or any thing related but while being-sharing with another person?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You could take a class or join a club where you would share with other members or students about the topic you enjoy so much, while developing these necessary skills.

Customer:

when they need me they call me, when i need to talk or go out with them, they say we should go our we dont have time , we have some works or etc

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Who are these people you are referring o here?

Customer:

on real life, my university friends

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What about looking for different people, not your classmates.

Customer:

how to make relation ship with them , for example who rafael?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Look for a local gym, a church, a group or any type, a local library, an association, it could be any group or setting where you could share at least a little bit with other people on a regular basis, something you enjoy doing like the internet, or anything that may be positive, healthy, constructive but were you would have to talk and share with them about it.

Customer:

Right, but what you suggest me to make a relationship with a girl in university? how to start?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

before expecting a romantic relationship-dating, please focus on just sharing and learning to feel less anxious, just to enjoy being with another person even for brief periods of time. Then you would focus on developing friendships, and only after working on that, you could start working on dating.

Customer:

you think if i go in another relation that is a mistake?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

In the present I do think so

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Because you would expose yourself being very vulnerable, since you need to work on developing the necessary skills you need to build and effectively share in relationships. Much better for you to focus on friendships, work on developing healthy and good ones, and from there you would know how to take good care of yourself around dating.

Customer:

Right so i should learn the skill from the book you offerd me rafael?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That book would help you better understand yourself, your feelings and reaction and relationship with people. it would help not only around daring and friendships but with every form of social sharing.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to be unconditionally patient and compassionate with yourself, while consistently working on taking one step at a time. It could go slowly but it would allow you to make real and worthy changes. just need to stick to it,no matter how low or no motivation you feel, it is through gentle, patient and consistent practice that you can learn and develop any skill or ability around anything in life.

Customer:

right, i will look to find it now, but there is no medications needed for me ?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you want to use psychiatric drugs that's something you could consider, but please remember that all the problems and challenges you have been facing for all these years have been rooted and fueled by your life experiences, and that only working on your rehabilitation process through concrete changes and grow within yourself and around other people, you could build a healthy and fulfilling life, while medication could mostly control or numb some symptoms, while creating side effects, including other or more serious mental health problems, and medical conditions, including serious addiction. This is why you need to be very careful and asses what an dhow much are you truly willing to afford before start using these drugs.

Customer:

Thats True

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I will look for another good book that could complement the first one, for you to better understand and work on yourself. Please carefully read them so we could discuss about the core ideas and what you learn from them and how to implement that in yourself and daily life, OK?

Customer:

SUre sir i will

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you.

Customer:

You welcome.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you have any further questions please feel free to contact me. Bye for now

Customer:

SUre rafael, bye

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Bye

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3032
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 3 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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