Hi, it's Dr. Mark. Give me a minute or so to read everything you've written here and I'll respond, okay?
First of all, yes, this is your life.
Help me understand what you mean by "narcissistic" about the exotic dancing. How are you seeing it?
well in all honesty (and again like i said in my post, i dont know if my thoughts are my own or social conditoining) but i have this worry that by partaking in this it only benefits myself, despite my curiousity for it. But at the same time, I can't say that becuase it provides entertainment and I too, go to strip clubs to watch females dance because it brings me joy
what you mean is that you think it may be unjustified to do this because it is not benefiting society, so to speak, is that accurate?
yes, and i fear that (in regards XXXXX XXXXX in particular) I would be surrounded by mainly self-centered narcisstic shallow people
Well, that is a good point.
I can't quite argue with you about that.
I am working right now in therapy in my private practice with a woman who was an exotic dancer
and so I don't know that you would be dealing with narcissistic people who are shallow when it comes to the dancers, necessarily.
there is rampant, almost 100% drug abuse
(that's what got her hospitalized)
and there is tremendous exploitation.
I don't know that it's different for men.
i'm not really worried about drug abuse at all, i'm more worried that i would only be surrounded by narcistic shallow people (mainly in modelling). And while, yes, a career in firefighting would be a greater befit to the world then let's say entertainment, if it's not me then it's not me - plain and simple. Things have to be done 100% from the heart
May I ask you a frank and open question?
ive come this far, so why not, go ahead
lay it out
Why do you have to be 100% this or that? Why
can't you commit yourself to dancing part time for, let's say, 2 years?
While you go to firefighting academy, for instance?
honestly dr mark, I have come to learn (through bad personal experiences with a lot of things) that time is something you can not get back. That and what if i fell in love with the wrong choice
i've made A LOT of mistakes in my life and i don't want to waste any more time
I understand this as an emotion. However,
and therefore as a reality,
it's hard for me to understand, meaning in reality:
if you would become a dancer for 2 years, let's say you'd take a few months to find the right club, you'd be 26.5 or 27 when you retire.
And at the same time you'd be 2 years into firefighting academy.
Why would that have been wasting time and not an "adventure"?
that's a very good way to look at it
but what if i fall in love with it?
What would be wrong with that?
Other than that it's like being a pro athlete:
by the time you're about 30, you'd have to retire?
thats very deep ...
why am I thinking like this?
am I scared of something?
What do you think you might be scared of?
this may sound kind of silly to you
but we are talking openly right?
so i'll be honest
As openly as we can
i'm a Christian, so therefore i believe in a higher power. I fear that I won't be doing God's work on earth with the time i have. And i stand pat on saying that exotic dancing and modelling for that matter is really just pure entertainment, nothing else. It's really no different than watching a basketball game, like you said. After all, I'd be a hypocrite if i said it was wrong because i myself go to female strip clubs, look at girls in magazines, watch porn, watch sports, etc. Does that make me a bad human being? NO, absolutely not
That adds a new dimension. So you feel that it's okay to enjoy it, but you're afraid that if you spend time being a dancer, then you'll be going against your values. Why not, then, dance for your girlfriend?
When you get a girlfriend?
can i be honest about that too?
there's a part of me that really wants to do it because I'm very comfortable with my sexuality and i want to express it fully. I want to entertain women. And also, I'm not really looking for a girlfriend. I just want to enjoy having sex with no strings attached and if love happens to find me, then it'll happen naturally
i dont think God would judge me for being a stripper or a model, i just fear i wouldn't be doing greater services in the world
after all, like i said, i feel there is absolutely nothing wrong with it
I'm not sure that being a stripper will get you women who are looking for one night stands.
I think you may get more gay requests from customers.
If "free" sex, no commitment, is what you are really looking for
then I think clubs or going back to college has more. What do you think?
i'm not doing stripping or modelling strictly for sex, im doing it becuase i really think i would enjoy the jobs themselves
Well, then maybe write a contract between you and G-d saying that you'll do this for 2 years and if you fall in love with it, you'll give it up anyways because you love G-d more than that. And you'll agree with the Creator that he gave you this opportunity to have an adventure in your youth. What do you think?
i like that
you wanna know something
i don't wXXXXX XXXXXve my life in fear. doing things based on fear - want to do things out of love
whatever they may be
Well, adventure is one way to live from love: you really are enthusiastic about doing this and it will be an adventure. But you need to include in your contract with G-d that if you take meth or any drug, even legal prescription drugs, that will be offered to you in that environment,
then the adventure has to stop there.
i WON't - so thats not an issue
Because I've had too many people come to me on the other side of having taken drugs casually and
so how about writing it into the contract?
Just for old Dr. Mark's peace of mind?
are you talking about using drugs or dancing itself?
I NEVER EVER EVER WILL
Good for you.
i personally don't like drugs
Then why not allow yourself to have this adventure?
I mean the dancing?
why not eh ....
Say that in positive terms, okay?
So, really you can pursue the firefighter option or the trainer option at the same time, agreed?
Wow, that's wonderful.
A lot of young people have to put their long term plans on hold in order to have an adventure. You get to do both. That's wonderful.
I believe what you're saying is resonating strongly in my soul.
I really just want to be happy
like everyone else in the universe
i don't want to do something good but have it drain my soul
because i know God wouldn't want that
are you farmiliar at all with the law of attraction?
Yes, but I don't know what you are referring to here with it. Can you explain?
the law of attraction states that what you put out, you get back. Like attracts like. So what I'm saying is if I really want something, and I do whatever it takes to get it, i'll get what I want back, which in this case is happiness, fun and adventure. If i do things that I really don't wanna do (based on fear rather than love), I will get back those very same feelings
I see, that's a very nice way to apply the law of attraction!
Feel good and enjoy the adventure!
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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Thank you so much Dr. Mark! This is actually the second time you've helped me resolve a major issue in my life. Do you rember the last time we talked? Lol
Yes, I do. And I wish you the very best in your future. If you could give a rating before you leave, I'd be grateful. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX
Thank you. May the universe or whatever it is you believe in bless your soul and grant you your every wish
Take care. Bye =D
I also believe in G-d. All the best to you.