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Ask Eleanor
Ask Eleanor, Therapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1517
Experience:  Marriage & Family Therapist with 20 Years Experience
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Break up

Customer Question

Hi

My girlfriend broke up with me last night saying she is unhappy and has been a while. She feels she can't talk to me or explain anything as I will often dominate the conversation or try turn things round into her, in part this is true but she doesn't see how she can hurt me sometimes. Her sister has also recently broken up a long term relationship and I can't help but think this has influenced us.

We have been together for 14 months now.

She wants to come round and get her stuff tonight and I don't know what to do? I love her deeply and want her back. We have a dog together and a holiday booked in two weeks, so there are a few ties.

She doesn't want to listen to me seems quite adamant about the break up, but we have been here before twice in fact February and July. So I'm not sure if this is really it. She says she loves me and cares for me and even last night when she broke up with me ended up staying and saying am I doing the right thing ?

We were so very close and still are we pretty much live together as I've just bought a house, we talk every day and it may have become quite routine like.

There is also an age gap I'm 29 and she is 19 and her sister who broke up also was in a similar relationship for 3 years when she was her age and I know regrets it and I have a feeling my girlfriend feels the same. In the past I had big trust issues believing that she could her me etc on a night out by perhaps being unfaithful these were always ungrounded and she never has to my knowledge done this and it's taken a long time for me to shut up and let her have fun which I know would really put her off.

Please let me know what else you need to know I'm really stuck especially with the dog and holiday coming up and it's Christmas too and I know we are both hurting.

She says she doesn't think it can work, but is not adamant that it won't work so I don't want to throw the towel in

Thanks
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Ask Eleanor replied 10 months ago.
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