I have been seeing a man for the past 6 months. I have fallen in love with him, very deeply. When we first started seeing each other, he had just gotten out of a relationship and so we were not too serious, however, I told him that I was the type of girl who didn't go into things lightly and that I could not be with somebody and sleep with somebody for 6 months to a year without getting attached. We can talk about anything for hours, have a great time together and he is the first person I have met who I really open up to about anything. About a month and a half ago, I told him that I was in love with him and have told him a couple of more times. He never said anything back and it has been bothering me since. This weekend, things came to a head, as I have been picking fights with him, not intentionally, I think I have been freaking out because I do not know how he felt about me, etc. Yesterday, I finally asked him how he felt about me, he said that he didn't love me, but that sometimes it takes more time for him and for men in general, he said I was his friend, his lover, etc.. he cared about me and that it was super important that we shared friendship, sex and everything together and that he wasn't the mushy type. I told him that I needed space, that I couldn't be with somebody who didn't love me back. That I deserved somebody and wanted somebody to be super in love with me, and that he deserved the same thing as well... meaning to be in love with somebody as well. He was sad, said he didn't want me to go, said that I should take all the time I needed that he would wait for me. That he didn't know what to say, that he couldn't make any promises but that his feelings for me could change. He looked very sad to me and kept asking if he did something wrong, etc... I have the feeling that he is scared and that he does actually love me. I am not sure what to do, I am going to take a couple of weeks, not talk to him, etc.. and going to try to figure it out. What do you think? Do you think people grow into love? Am I pushing him too much? I know everybody has different speeds, but do you think that I should continue waiting for him or am I kidding myself?
Thank you for the reply. I guess I knew this, but it truly breaks my heart. I have never loved any man like this before and have always seemed to end up with men like this. I must be picking these types for a reason, maybe I am just afraid. I love him and truly hope that he comes to his senses, however, I have a feeling that you are right and that he just does not or can not give me the same thing. I will try to stay strong and do my own thing and move on with my life. Thank you again, I really appreciated hearing your words.