How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
65591635
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I had to respond to what you have said about our bodies always

Resolved Question:

I had to respond to what you have said about our bodies always reflecting whsts going on inside, even if just subtly. Having chronic pain, I know certain astute people, and particularly others who have pain can sense my suffering. On a bad day, everyone can sense my suffering. My son is astute in picking up on my physical suffering, and knows when Im hurting even when I dont admit it.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely, I do agree with you. It is also pain what many times pushes us to work even more on ourselves, on becoming wiser, stronger, more humane, developing more resiliency and empathy, since we know how it feels, how hard things could get.

Customer:

Wow, very wise indeed. I could t have said it better myself. Its very true.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Many people do not take these challenges and allow pain to turn into distorted suffering, and when that happens, everything get complicated and destructive. I am glad to know you have wisely approached these tough challenges and pain, in ways you could gradually heal and better cope from inside.

Customer:

Interesting. Two examples come to my mind. A close frie d of mine who also suffers, but has an illness and her coping style is martyr like. Illness has become her focus and identity. The second is my father who for some reason is an alcoholic

Customer:

Gradually heal and cope from the inside youve said. This means starting from the inside out.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Chronic physical conditions, specially those causing a lot of pain could be very overwhelming, and that's why we need to be extra unconditionally patient, understanding, gentle, compassionate, loving and supportive with ourselves, specially when undergoing more pain. This way we would not increase the pain, but better cope with it in better, more effective ways.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

How dramatically we could change the way pain and life impact us depending on the way we approach it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

We are literally shaping our own mind and body, feelings and emotions through the way we mentally and emotionally approach them, and the way we direct our bodies to respond or react to it. From tenderness tp a caring touch, from ourselves or a genuine person, we do literally change functions, tissues, cells and genes. Our awareness of ourselves and reality change, and our bodies change as a consequences too. It's a real biofeedback process.

Customer:

Yes, and studies provecthis mind body connection is very real. Just think how certain neurons can fire based on our thoughts

Customer:

I am trying to be more careful or focus on self care, because y husband devalues. That's why self care is crutial

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I use to say that pain is in our minds and not in our physical bodies, this is why a person when sleeping or unconscious cannot experience pain. If our awareness or physical reality is not there, there is no experience, no perception, no sensations. If we learn to become more mindful, and more in control of some of this endless potential we all have, things, including pain would be much different.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right, then take those sad and painful behaviors as reminders for you to love and support yourself even more and better, not to take the hurting that he projects, but to treasure what is healthy and meaningful, worthy and fulfilling, helpful and dignifying.

Customer:

That seems true with most emotional pain. Although pain can wake me up at night. If you dont listen to the pain sensations, and pace yourself, you can cause further harm to the body. That's why I use meditation to take the edge off physical pain and allow some sense of control

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's shocking the fact that we are not taught about key aspects or reality, about this body-heart-mind-spirit connection, inter dependency, because if were aware of it and assertive to take consistent action to take good care of ourselves, life would be perceived and experienced in very different ways, including the experience of pain.

Customer:

Sorry, connection problem. Okay, I see. Its how you choose to handle emotional pain. When it hurts, dig inside deeper in a sense to nurture and heal, rather than other destructive ways of coping

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Right! your body is wise, it knows better than your intellectual mind or conscious feeling-emotions what is going on inside yourself, not only physically but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually, because it is the material and energetic container of what us dense and subtle too, tough to fool our physical bodies, while so easy to mislead our intellectual mind and emotions.

Customer:

Yes,,,, I agree, it should be common knowledge, because it can empower

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Physical pain is very real, you know that very well, and it is also true that the way you experience it depend on how you happen to experience reality in your mind and heart, this is why we could help ourselves to better cope, control and promote pain relief through wiser, healthier use experience of our mind-heart-spirit

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Pain management program teach some of these principles, what could be very helpful, as well as mindfulness practices, meditation and other therapeutic ways to work on ourselves.

Customer:

That was the basic premise of lie detector tests, although some ambiguity surrouns that issue. The issue that our bodies dont lie. Tnanks for all your time tonight. Your writing and insight is fluent and refreshing

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Stress, emotions, mental states, expectations, fears, mood, attitudes, values and beliefs, and many other things do shape our experience of pain and how well we cope with it. Let's keep working on learning from this process with a gentle, compassionate and consistent approach.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your presence, insight and sensitivity. I feel grateful. Good night.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Amen. I will try, I promise !! True and important words you have spoke!

Customer: replied 1 year ago.

The stress of this marriage has made coping with my illness difficult. That is why I know how important these words are, the effect of stress on illness is profound

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
You bet it is. This is why we always need to reassess our core needs and expectation, set good priorities, these way we'd not self-sabotage. That's another huge topic, but we have time to talk about it other day for sure. Thanks.
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I look forward to talking about it with you in the future. It is not many therapist who understand these dynamics. Therefore, I will catch up with you again. Thanks a million. I hope you have a good night

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 
Chat Now With A Counselor
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist
Director / Psychotherapist
914 Satisfied Customers
MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach