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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Should he know I struggle with this? In the beginn7ng when

Resolved Question:

Should he know I struggle with this? In the beginn7ng when they started dating, he asked me if I was jealous. I asked him if I acted jealous. He said no. I was honest and said yes, I've felt jealous at times. To my surprise, he told me that was normal. Im thinking, I would not voluntarily tell him that since he became serious with her, its been hard. Do you agree? I would only mention this if he comes out and asks me straight as he surprisingly did in the beginning that one time. He must still feel enough comfort with me as he asked me what brand of protection is best.. if you know what I mean, before he decided to become intimate.

Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe your son truly cares about you and has empathy and sensitivity to acknowledge how challenging it could be for you to experience these necessary changes an situations.

Customer:

Yes, very good. I was so surprised how emotionally articulate he was!

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I also think you were wise being honest and not denying what you were feeling, and that while he can support you being this way, you also need to work on yourself, since this is about your own process.

Customer:

Im so glad he has empathy, because his father has very little.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Children could always surprise us, specially when we have done a good job as parents

Customer:

Thanks, XXXXX XXXXX saying, no... im not jezlous... lol

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see! Then that's a key factor making this even more challenging, and that's why I said you need to also work on taking good care of other core areas of your life, and other core relationships.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Many mothers in your shoes do that, denying their feelings, what could not truly help. I feel glad to know your son has been able to develop these wonderful skills regardless of how much they have been absent in his father's behaviors towards you.

Customer:

That's hard, but I have close friends, but a nsrcisstic and controlling husband. The marriage is room mate status

Customer:

Thsts right, he is a gem, my son. All mothers must say this.

Customer:

Plus im sick with rheumatoid arthritis, always in pain. But I recently joined a book club

Customer:

Thanks for compliments on my son and myself.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Love and attachment to our children are always inviting us to become wiser, even more generous and kind, and many parents fail giving too much out of love, unhealthy one, but those who have the means and commit to work on themselves to continue doing a good job, could grow even more while promoting their children further maturity and fulfillment too.

Customer:

Sure, nicely said. I understand.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then you are a survivor, and much more than that. I am glad to know you have taken steps to take better care of yourself, you need and deserve real fulfillment at every level, and while we cannot have any control on what our spouse or other people do, we can and should always do our best to take good care of ourselves, then please keep doing that, enriching you life with a supportive social network and support system. Sure it is not easy, but it is necessary and worthy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Our physical body always reflects in obvious or subtle ways how we feel inside,this is why allowing ourselves to better work on releasing and processing what is painful, lead us to be and feel better, to heal and become stronger, even when some circumstances and people do not change, we can always change the way we respond and are affected by them.

Customer:

Its so very necessary. Im working on it as best as I can. Im so lucky to have my son. I almost lost him when he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Now he is happy and that's what makes it much easier to accept his grlwth and develop e

Customer:

oops

Customer:

Right, we always have some control, ourselves, but cannot change others.

Customer:

Thanks for support and insight

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Absolutely.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

These are good books on coping with people with this serious disorder: "The Wizard of Oz and Other Narcissists: Coping with the One-Way Relationship in Work, Love, and Family", "Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed" and "Freeing Yourself from the Narcissist in Your Life".

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You're very welcome. Thank you for your trust and openness here.Please, also consider a support group if possible, since you got a tough reality to cope with at home because of your husband's disorders.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX free to stay in touch since I am always here to support you as possible.

Customer:

Ive read the first book....excellent. I will be certain to check out the other two. As its still a walking on eggshells environment, but im growing and working hard on detachment and self care

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good. I support you. Take gentle care and have a good night.

Customer:

You too. Thanks for time. Good night.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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Rafael M.T.Therapist
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MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach