Miami is still too hot and humid during the days, getting better evenings and early mornings , finally.
I was born and brought up in western Pa, rolling hills, winter snow blizzards, summer days of rain, a beautiful area with lush forests and amazing flowers in summer, ever greens. I long to go back for a few months at least during spring, summer and autumn , hoping for next year If I can still drive, and function ok, and take my dogs along.
Ice and snow in winter with those rolling hills ? No. Slush, dirty snow with ice underneath, not for me. The hills become ski slopes for vehicles and people both.
Miami, soft breezes, the scent of Jasmine at night, graceful palms, this is the place of my choice. Only now the population is not to my comfort and liking.
Andrew came thorough my tantrum ok, I think he is beginning to understand, if I find a pot not scoured , that pot is gone. I know how to solve arguments, just remove the object of dissension. Like now, no one is permitted to use the internet in my home. They have to go to Starbucks, The problem of the workers hiding in their rooms on the computer does no longer exist. Easy one that.
My eldest son also now has to dress and leave the house to go to his office at Starbucks. I made a rule, No one can sit and watch me work here. He has improved immensely since arriving here, and I am sure the zanax is due some credit also. Parents have to do what they believe is best for their children no matter what that is, no matter how old they are. It was interesting and poignant to me that his dad died on what was or wedding anniversary back in 2008. I still feel sad for his life being what it was. I think of him sometimes. He was 2 years younger than me but was plagued with emotional distress and illness throughout his life. I had no choice but to divorce him back in '76. He never recovered physically from any of it. Sad. Some people have sad lives. Our son and daughter both suffered from depression demons that finally killed him at a too early age. Sometimes I think of what could have and should have been there for us. Maybe I imagine a happy life for us that we did not have, what it would have been and that now we would have had grandchildren visit us like the song, Over the rivers and through the woods, to Grandmother's house we go - - that was my childhood dream. I must have gotten it from a Currier and Ives Christmas card scene.
I am concerned now about Andrew, my baby Rosa child, he has no formal education though he is intelligent , well read, but no credentials to find good career employment still. He seems not to be aware that the path to earn a decent income it going to college. Or perhaps he is but is afraid of not being able to do it. He rejects any suggestion of this from me. Meanwhile I am back to basics, sorting the containers left here. Pure fun.