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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7664
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have a friend who has been in a toxic relationship for 9

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I have a friend who has been in a toxic relationship for 9 years. His partner (the abuser) had cancer a year ago and he feels trapped as per the guilt of taking the step to leave. What advice can you offer?
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with this situation

Your friend has been trapped for 9 years already, and has not left, having found one reason or the other to stay around. I am sure that his partner has done his utmost to guilt him into staying.

The partner will use the cancer as yet another reason.

I am saying that this situation of being trapped is not new but only intensified.

Nevertheless, it is time for him to break free and have his own life. He does not need to be a reluctant caregiver to someone who is abusive and unappreciative, and this is neither his role or desire. He owes the abusive partner nothing.

This is a long and complicated process. I know of a wonderful book, very effective for several of my clients (I heard only praise) that will help him enormously. I urge him to purchase it as soon as possible. It is:

Product Details

Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay: A Step-by-Step Guide to Help You Decide Whether to Stay In or Get Out of Your... by Mira Kirshenbaum


One other very powerful and helpful book, from a different, but equally effective point of view is the well-received:


Product Details

Getting Past Your Breakup: How to Turn a Devastating Loss into the Best Thing That Ever Happened to You by Susan J. Elliott JD MEd


With these two wonderful authors in his corner, breaking up and recovering will be so much easier.


These books will help him find the motivation and the words to begin the process, get through it, and get past it knowing he did the right thing.


I wish him great luck and shall keep him, and you, his great friend, in my prayers.


Warm regard,



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