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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I am not in a relationship, but normally every weekend day

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I am not in a relationship, but normally every weekend day either Friday, Saturday or Sunday. I have a male friend that comes over it is basically like a friends with benefits situations. Yesterday, he texted me and said he might come over yesterday, and I said okay, after an hour of no more responses. He text me and asked what are you ready for when I come there. I replied Huh, but then replied Just chill..not sure if period is completely gone but will be gone by tomorrow. after an hour, I responded I am about to take a bath just .let me know what you want to do, He never said anything else, so I called by 11:23 but no answer, and he has yet to call or text back. Just to add, Friday he wanted to come over, and called and said he was on his way he even mention we can chill caused he knew my situation, but I told him to give me 45 minutes to an hour and when it was close to an hour he texted and say I will see you tomorrow this happen the day before last night. How do I approach this situation? I already text and call should I wait till he call me then approach this again?

Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

It seems that your friend had deep misunderstanding of your arrangements and plans. It seems more like forgetfulness or confusion rather than an intentional slight. It could be due to fatigue, or medication, or an extreme mental pre-occupation.

You should give him the benefit of the doubt this time, and gently discuss it and tell him what your understanding had been and ask him what happened.

In that way you can have reasonable discussion and get to the bottom of it without adding any emotional element to the conversation. It would just be a way to find out what happened.
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Discuss it in person as a side issue rather than as the center of attention. In that way, if there is a reasonable explanation you can reach it without causing a further incident.

You will come to the bottom of this best if you are patient.

Warm regards,

Elliott

Customer: replied 11 months ago.

so you would like me to wait until the next I see him to briefly mention it. What he brings it up on the phone before then? He usually does not act this way though, I am currently unemployed and he asked me to apply at his job and he has even said he will talk to some managers he know on my behalf. He always call and apologize if he does not call on time etc.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Tasha,

Talk to him gently about it, or ask him to come over and talk to you about it. What is most important is to give him the benefit of the doubt. It is always best to have these discussions in person as there is better communication (body language and all).

If you are too insistent about talking to him about it in person then you will be already giving too much importance.

It is important to know, but your approach must be gentle and not overly pointed.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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