How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
40019946
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

I hope you still have my prior questions and my background.

Customer Question

I hope you still have my prior questions and my background. I am still having trouble with my wife. She got switched from cellexa to effexor last week and I'm hoping for a change. I'm worried however that our problems aren't all her depresion. We get along then later she'll text that she didn't mean to get my hopes up. I've been patient and sometimes it seems like I'm losing ground. I'm deathly afraid of losing my marriage. I haven't had much to be positive about. I don't know what to do. I'm scared. What do you suggest
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Darren,

I am aware of your background and of all of the heartache you have been through recently.

You have not mentioned if your wife has been assessed for bipolar disorder. You understand this disorder because she say she has it. You understand manic behaviour (reckless spending, mood changes, lack of concentration, rapid speech, flight of ideas, feelings of invulnerability) interspersed with low moods of depression and irritability.

I have not observed her, but if you think this is a possibility you should urge her to get another assessment and possibly an addition to her medication. There may be a difference between the old and the new antidepressants, but she may need a supplemental medication to bring her out of this low and destructive mood.

A second opinion may be a wise option, as she is not responding to the point where it may be destroying her marriage ....... and yours.

I wish you great success and shall continue to keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott

Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Thank you. I guess I just need someone to tell me everything will work out eventually if I do things right. I know there's no guarantees in life. She said her celexa has been tapered down and she'll start on effexor now. How long might it b till I see a diffference if there is gonna b one. You tell me to be strong and supportive but how do I know I'm actually doing the right thing.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Dear Darren,

Talk to your physician about getting small dosage supply of anti-anxiety medication to keep you on an even keel: something you can take ONLY ON AN AS NEEDED BASIS.

If you seem or calm and confident then you WILL be more supportive. If you are going to save this marriage than you have to be heroically strong and self-confident. I know that I have already suggested a couple of books for you, for the sake of your marriage. Here is one to help you be strong and condident.

If she sees you stepping up to the plate in her time of need and desperation she will want you by her side.

Here is the book. Of course it is YOU who have to do the work:

Product Details

The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life by Brian Tracy


As you feel yourslef grow you will KNOW that you are on the right track.

YOU HAVE TO DO THE WORK, but YOU CAN GET THERE ! ! ! ! ! !

Warm regards.

Elliott


Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Thanx for the encouragement. I don't think she thinks there's anything wrong with her. She knows she's depressed but doesn't seem to think that's the problem. She thinks I'm the problem.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Do you think you're the problem?

What is her take on "you" and what is your take on yourself?
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

I'm definitely not the problem. I think if you were to tell her six months ago that we'd b in this situation she wouldn't believe it. She's always told her friends 'I love that man' ' I have the best husband in the world' 'he's a good man' 'I'm a very lucky woman to have him' 'he takes good care of me and spoils me' I know for a fact she's said these things about me.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Good answer.

You have to encourage her to get better help with her psychiatric treatment. That is all you can do.

It is difficult when people don't understand that it is them, but you have to help, and enlist her family if you can, although that may be hard because she could be telling them that it is you.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Ok. Well I do my best. I will b seeing my therapist and phyciatrist on Friday. Is there anything I could ask them that might help? They both know the whole story.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Yes. You can ask the psychiatrist if there is an adjunctive medication that can be added to her regimen, if you can get some anti-anxiety medication to help you keep a better demeanor when with her, and if if your therapist can see the both of you together to do some relationship counseling.

I wish you great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Should I see if she'll go to my appt with me?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
That would be a good way to approach it.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Ok. Can you show me those books again. I can't find them for some reason

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Product
View Full Image

The Power of Self-Confidence: Become Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life by Brian

 

and I will sent the others from the other question.as well

 


How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It by Dr. Patricia Love Ed.D. and Steven Stosny PH.D

 

 

and one other very inexpensive but effectgive little book:

How to Save Your Marriage Alone by M.D. Ed Wheat

 

 

 

 

Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Dear Darren,

Is there anything I can help you with or have my Seven extensive answers covered you?

Please let me know.

Elliot
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Hi Elliot. Just wanted to give you an update on my situation. My wife has been switched from celexa to effexor. No change yet. A couple of positives are that she hasn't started a fight for two weeks. Another thing is that she bought me nhl hockey tickets for my birthday. I wrote her another letter telling her of things I admit I've done wrong in the past and how much I love her and miss her. Havent given it to her yet and wanted to know if it was a good idea to give it to her or not. What do I do?

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Dear Darren,

This is very enouraging news. Perhpas there will be some positive changes.

By all means give her that loving and kind not.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Thanks Elliot for keeping me in your prayers. I need all the help I can get.

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions