I was born and raised oversees, when I was 25 I wanted to immigrate to US for a better life. One family friend asked me if I’m ready to get married and she suggested a family friend who was from the same country as well but became US citizen and looking for a girl to marry since he couldn’t find anyone who fits his needs in US.
I accepted to talk to him and we had telephone conversation for about a year and he was a nice and very goal oriented person.
His family arranged a marriage party and he came the next year with his family and we got married in a nice ceremony after couple days physically meeting each other for the first time in the airport.
The problem started in my heart when I was desperately waiting for my dream man to come in the airport and when I saw him for the first time; I felt no desire and no chemistry for him. The first couple days together, my feeling was still the same and since everything was arranged, I saw myself in a white dress getting married with a nice young man that I had no feeling with!
He stayed for a week after and we spent a nice luxury honeymoon together that I ended up crying every night he fell asleep.
I am a very romantic person and he is not.
A year after I came here in US. and spent a lot of time with his close family. I noticed that I married a mama’s boy and he is very much attached to his mom and sister in the way that he never question what they say. And that was the reason he couldn’t find any one here to marry.
I found myself so trapped in a relation that he is acting nice to me but I don’t rule my life. I felt the second person in his life most of the time and he never shows affection for me in front of his family. His mom is so jealous of me. Everytime I mentioned that I was hurt by their words or actions, he fighted with me and told me im wrong.
I made a huge mistake and thought a baby can bring us closer emotionally and can build a nice family unit for us.
I faced a lot of family problems after my daughter was born.
I brought my family here in US. (mom and dad) just to have somebody to release myself emotionally since my husband didn’t want to hear anything about my feeling and also his family.
My daughter is 5 years now, our life looks nice in surface, only because I kept everything inside me and made everything look nice but all the past events from the first day wounded me so much that I don’t have any feelings for him. We don’t have the emotional bond. My main focus is my job but most of the days I catch myself crying at my work (computer eng.) and his focus is his job and family and his daughter.
Im very scared of divorce only because I don’t cant afford not seeing my daughter even a day and dont want to hurt her emotions.
Need immediate help…..