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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, hope all is well. I think my friend of many years

Resolved Question:

Elliott, hope all is well. I think my friend of many years is fare weather. Calls with lengthy problems, rarely asks how I am, wont go out of her way unless its convenient for her. Lacks consideration or understanding of my limits of illness, and wont be flexible with plans. I cant rely on her for a crisis but she is....

Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear Dawn,

I hope that you are fine.

You know, your friend reminds me of a friend of mine who always talks about himself, his crises, hie accomplishments, his family, his work, his problems, and so on.

I know so much about him but I think he knows little of me and doesn't seem to have an interest.

I have called to share something with him on several occasions, but have never been able to change the subject away from him. Subsequently my calls to him got less and less, and he rarely calls me.

When the weather is fair they will sit out in the sun with you, but when it is foul then they will not share their umbrella.

You are being used, albeit unconsciously. Peeople like this are not really narcissists but just selfish and self-centered people. They offer little in the way of an authentic friendship and they do not make interesting friends.

The do not pass the AFINIAFI test: "a friend in need is a friend indeed [in deed]".

They are good for a diversion or for a dose of "for old time's sake", but othewise serve no high function as friend, counsellor, confidante, or companion. You serve them but it it mostly a one way relationship.

I wish you better success with your other friends. I'm sure you have several.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

Thank you, XXXXX XXXXX Elliott. I don't have many friends, but am working on connecting through a local book club. Chronic illness is isolating and makes socializing difficult. Thanks again

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.
Dear Dawn,

I am surprised as you are such a socialble person. Book club sounds like a great idea.

God bless.

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 months ago.

That gave me a chuckle. Thanks and Good night

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.
Sociable to me. I'm glad that I could give you send you off with a chuckle.

Nite nite. Sleep tight.

Elliott :)
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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