Have Relationship Questions? Ask a Counselor for Answers ASAP
Hi. I am scheduled to see clients in therapy right now through this evening. Is it okay if I save this chat and we try again tomorrow?
I will be here around same time
Or I can switch us to question/answer format and start with a brief answer now, which you can reply to and then I can finish answering late tonight or tomorrow. Which would you prefer?
we can chat late tonight
Okay, I'll save this and exit. We
will either connect tonight or tomorrow. Talk with you then, Dr. Mark
should I exit too?
Hi, I'm back online now. I'm sorry I needed to leave to see clients in my office. I'll wait for a while to see if you come online. If so, respond here and we'll begin, okay?
I'll try then, in between therapy sessions. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX
Hi Dr. Mark
let me know when you are available
maybe we can chat tomorrow , I have break from 1:00-2:00?
Eastern time zone
Hi. How are you?
The system say's you're in the chat, but I'm not sure if you are here. Are you here?
as you said before I will cry
Tell me why: is it because of the letter he sent?
after when I sent the letter
How did his response make you feel?
I was feeling good that he more opened up but in the other hand I was sad because he didnt want to meet up
he said it hurts ... when I said I have to stop write to him
just hard to let it go if he wrote that he loves us and misses us
How do you react to his saying that though he loves and misses you, he is not coming back?
He is giving me a hope
and I was asking myself if I did a right think to send him a letter
if i should keep write to him
I understand. But share with me:
what is the hope that he is giving you?
the we will be back to each other
why he still want me to write to him .. curious about my school and son
I was able to see that he was curious about you and your son,
I should wait ...
but could you help me in finding
tell me what I should do .. just wait
what he said that gave you hope you would be back to each other?
he said " I so desperately want you in my life, but that would be selfish of me.. I still don't know what I'm doing.. it has to be this way for the moment."
Please believe, I'm only trying to share with you what you are feeling.
How does this give you hope?
that he needs me or miss me
Ah, I see. Yes, I also understood he misses you and needs you, but I understood him to say that he has to do what he's doing, stay away.
Was I wrong?
I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX he is very troubled. Do you agree?
that's why I was crying today
I am concerned that he may be having a mental health issue at this time. Do you think this is the case?
and he is not sure which way he wants to go
We all have doubts, but his have a very intense, self destructive aspect, don't you think?
no not mental ... he change because he really is close to god
Yes, being holy is so important.
But being holy does not mean being tormented, does it?
yes .. you right
I'm wondering if seeing a Christian counselor would help him. What do you think?
being holy doesn't mean keep way from us
I offered that 3 months ago . that I'm willing to go with him
No, I mean for himself, to help him. Not for couples work. What do you think?
I don't think he's ready for couples therapy.
He's not steady yet in himself, he seems too distraught and tormented.
so I should not write to him and wait
I was wondering, if you wrote to him with a link to Christian counseling directories so he could choose a Christian therapist, maybe that would help him. What do you think?
I can send him a link but I don't want him to think that I think he has metal issue
he cries a lot too
No, I agree. I didn't mean for you to say that. I meant that you could respond how it meant a lot to you that he cares about you and your son and misses the two of you. That you see he's very troubled right now and you hope he finds someone to talk with and
Yes that would work
that here is a directory of Christian counselors:
This is a directory of counselors who have psychology training as well as are practicing their religion.
What do you think?
This way you could find out more information from him about if he is willing to get help.
Because if he is, then maybe you want to wait for him.
But if not, maybe you want to move on.
I hope he is not going to be upset at me or something
for that link
so what I SHOULD write Dr. Mark
and to not misunderstand me
"It meant a lot to me that you care about me and my son and that you miss us. My son and I miss you so much as well. But I see you are very troubled right now and I hope you can find someone to talk with who can help you understand what you need to understand so that you are more at peace. And
here is a directory of Christian counselors I found and thought maybe someone there could help:
This is a directory of counselors who are practicing Christians and so they may be able to give good guidance."
i just wondering why I have a negative impact on him.. to not call me and just talk
What do you think of the letter I composed for you?
Dr. Mark this letter is nice written
should I say I'm his friend and I wont help him and us
What do you mean "I won't help him and us"?
help him to understand himself ... us meant relationship
Do you mean you can't help him understand himself? Why not?
I just wondering why I have negative impact on him
he does't want to meet but rather contact with me by mails
May I give you my honest opinion?
You haven't responded, so I guess that mean I can, right?
I don't believe you have been a negative influence.
From what he has written it is clear that he is troubled. He is very troubled within himself.
You have been a good influence, but he is not ready to be happy and to feel good.
That is my concern.
So, do you think we should add to what I wrote?
What would you like to add?
I think this is perfect short letter
I offer him a help
I am glad because I think also that short is important here.
should I say if he still wants to write to me he can because I'm here for him
No. Because if he says that he needs to keep "enduring"--meaning that he is not willing to come back and be happy--and he's not ready to talk to anyone, you still need to move on. Because
this is too hurtful to you. And it is hurting your son.
ok so I will send him the letter what you wrote
Remember: you are a good person. And you deserve to be happy. Yes, you love him. But he is troubled and he is not willing to feel good. He believes he needs to "endure". But you need to raise your son and live your life with good feelings, not tortured feelings. That's not good for you or your son. So, please remember, you are sending this to him in hopes he wants to have a good life. But if not, you need to move on because that is what you need for you and your son.
Okay, I wish you the very best!
My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX
thank you so much Dr. Mark .
thank you to make me understand
You are a good person and your son is fortunate to have you as his mother.
excellent service !
Thank you. If you could give a positive rating before you leave, I would be grateful. All the best.
bye Dr. MARK
All the best.