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Dr. Mark
Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5111
Experience:  Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
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Hello Dr. Mark, I need you help one more time. Today morning

Resolved Question:

Hello Dr. Mark, I need you help one more time.

Today morning I sent the letter to my ex boyfriend which you help me to write

"I hope that in the close future I will find a loving relationship that will lead to marriage for me and a father for my son. I had hoped it would be with you, but your life has moved on to a different path. It hurts me too much to keep hoping that you want to come back to us. And so I have to stop writing to you as I need to move on. I hope that you understand me as I don't want to hurt you. I wish you the very best in your journey.

I know your birthday is XXXXX up and I would like wish you a Happy Birthday from the bottom of my heart. May God continue to bless you life and give you the desires of your heart.
May you know His inner peace
And love and grace much more."

I sent the letter this morning and when I was on my way to school and I was running late . After 4 months I saw him in the car, on the other side of the street, he was waiting for green light. I thought he didn't see me but he wrote to me back and said he did.
This is the letter from him...


Dear Martucc,

This morning I hesitated to take out the trash, went out the door then decided to come back and grab it.. I then proceed to do my thing, throw out the trash- walk to my car--etc.. There was traffic, I drove over the bridge and get to the light... Who do I see, You, on the other side. Timing.. I wonder why you crossed my path this morning.. The past couple days have been more intense then usual.. You constantly on my mind... Trying to reflect... Asking God, what he wants me to do.. Interesting in the way of how timing works- and wonder if angels allowed this to happen.
I so desperately want you in my life, but that would be selfish of me.. I still don't know what I'm doing.. it has to be this way for the moment. It's only right.. I miss you guys so deeply. I know it's hard to grasp, but I have to be honest. I haven't moved on from this.. It resides in my heart and is a daily battle. I can ponder the notion, and begin to cry.. Just yesterday I was thinking, I'm surprised I haven't run into you yet.. And look?? I so wanted to pull over this morning or stop and talk to you. I couldn't bare it. I drove off crying asking God why is he doing this?? Why am I feeling this way?? I can't even think about kissing another woman. So it's not another woman or women...etc.

I was looking forward to reading your email,after I had wrote you last.. I anticipated & wondering about your progression with school, and everything that has been going on.. But..
I understand that you have to stop writing me.. Like I said, that would be selfish... It hurts but I have to endure. I can only speak in truth..

I Thank you for your blessings, and wishing me a happy birthday. Thank your family as well. I too pray and bless your life, that God protects you and Natan and guides you both.. I pray you stay strong and keep your faith.. I pray that your worries and hurts diminish. I pray over you, Natan, your whole family- in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen
Your always in my prayers
Love you always , and Natan

Andre'



Dr. Mark what I should do? Not replay or I should tell him I saw him too and I love him very much.
Or just let it go and wait. He said he still loves us and miss us ...

Thank you

MARTA
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dr. Mark replied 11 months ago.

Dr. Mark :

Hi. I am scheduled to see clients in therapy right now through this evening. Is it okay if I save this chat and we try again tomorrow?

Customer:

sure

Customer:

I will be here around same time

Dr. Mark :

Or I can switch us to question/answer format and start with a brief answer now, which you can reply to and then I can finish answering late tonight or tomorrow. Which would you prefer?

Customer:

we can chat late tonight

Dr. Mark :

Okay, I'll save this and exit. We

Dr. Mark :

will either connect tonight or tomorrow. Talk with you then, Dr. Mark

Customer:

should I exit too?

Dr. Mark :

Hi, I'm back online now. I'm sorry I needed to leave to see clients in my office. I'll wait for a while to see if you come online. If so, respond here and we'll begin, okay?

Customer: Hi Dr. Mark,
Customer: Hi Dr Mark
Customer: Hi Dr, Mark
Customer: I'm sory to missed you but I fall a sleep yesterday after 11:00pm. If we coul talk when i get back from work would be great.
Customer: I'm eastern time zone
Dr. Mark :

I'll try then, in between therapy sessions. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Customer:

Hi Dr. Mark

Customer:

let me know when you are available

Customer:

maybe we can chat tomorrow , I have break from 1:00-2:00?

Customer:

Eastern time zone

Dr. Mark :

Hi. How are you?

Dr. Mark :

The system say's you're in the chat, but I'm not sure if you are here. Are you here?

Customer:

Hello

Customer:

not well

Customer:

as you said before I will cry

Dr. Mark :

Tell me why: is it because of the letter he sent?

Customer:

after when I sent the letter

Customer:

yes

Dr. Mark :

How did his response make you feel?

Customer:

I was feeling good that he more opened up but in the other hand I was sad because he didnt want to meet up

Customer:

he said it hurts ... when I said I have to stop write to him

Customer:

just hard to let it go if he wrote that he loves us and misses us

Dr. Mark :

How do you react to his saying that though he loves and misses you, he is not coming back?

Customer:

He is giving me a hope

Customer:

and I was asking myself if I did a right think to send him a letter

Customer:

if i should keep write to him

Dr. Mark :

I understand. But share with me:

Dr. Mark :

what is the hope that he is giving you?

Customer:

the we will be back to each other

Customer:

why he still want me to write to him .. curious about my school and son

Dr. Mark :

I see.

Dr. Mark :

I was able to see that he was curious about you and your son,

Customer:

I should wait ...

Dr. Mark :

but could you help me in finding

Customer:

tell me what I should do .. just wait

Dr. Mark :

what he said that gave you hope you would be back to each other?

Customer:

he said " I so desperately want you in my life, but that would be selfish of me.. I still don't know what I'm doing.. it has to be this way for the moment."

Dr. Mark :

Please believe, I'm only trying to share with you what you are feeling.

Dr. Mark :

How does this give you hope?

Customer:

that he needs me or miss me

Dr. Mark :

Ah, I see. Yes, I also understood he misses you and needs you, but I understood him to say that he has to do what he's doing, stay away.

Dr. Mark :

Was I wrong?

Customer:

you right

Customer:

sad

Dr. Mark :

I sincerely XXXXX XXXXX he is very troubled. Do you agree?

Customer:

that's why I was crying today

Customer:

i do

Dr. Mark :

I am concerned that he may be having a mental health issue at this time. Do you think this is the case?

Customer:

and he is not sure which way he wants to go

Dr. Mark :

We all have doubts, but his have a very intense, self destructive aspect, don't you think?

Customer:

no not mental ... he change because he really is close to god

Dr. Mark :

Yes, being holy is so important.

Dr. Mark :

But being holy does not mean being tormented, does it?

Customer:

yes .. you right

Dr. Mark :

I'm wondering if seeing a Christian counselor would help him. What do you think?

Customer:

being holy doesn't mean keep way from us

Customer:

I offered that 3 months ago . that I'm willing to go with him

Dr. Mark :

No, I mean for himself, to help him. Not for couples work. What do you think?

Dr. Mark :

I don't think he's ready for couples therapy.

Dr. Mark :

He's not steady yet in himself, he seems too distraught and tormented.

Customer:

so I should not write to him and wait

Dr. Mark :

I was wondering, if you wrote to him with a link to Christian counseling directories so he could choose a Christian therapist, maybe that would help him. What do you think?

Customer:

I can send him a link but I don't want him to think that I think he has metal issue

Customer:

he cries a lot too

Dr. Mark :

No, I agree. I didn't mean for you to say that. I meant that you could respond how it meant a lot to you that he cares about you and your son and misses the two of you. That you see he's very troubled right now and you hope he finds someone to talk with and

Customer:

Yes that would work

Dr. Mark :

that here is a directory of Christian counselors:


http://www.aacc.net/shop/ccn/ccn_disclaimer.php


This is a directory of counselors who have psychology training as well as are practicing their religion.

Dr. Mark :

What do you think?

Dr. Mark :

This way you could find out more information from him about if he is willing to get help.

Dr. Mark :

Because if he is, then maybe you want to wait for him.

Dr. Mark :

But if not, maybe you want to move on.

Dr. Mark :

What do you think?

Customer:

I hope he is not going to be upset at me or something

Customer:

for that link

Customer:

so what I SHOULD write Dr. Mark

Customer:

and to not misunderstand me

Dr. Mark :

"It meant a lot to me that you care about me and my son and that you miss us. My son and I miss you so much as well. But I see you are very troubled right now and I hope you can find someone to talk with who can help you understand what you need to understand so that you are more at peace. And



here is a directory of Christian counselors I found and thought maybe someone there could help:


http://www.aacc.net/shop/ccn/ccn_disclaimer.php


This is a directory of counselors who are practicing Christians and so they may be able to give good guidance."


Customer:

i just wondering why I have a negative impact on him.. to not call me and just talk

Dr. Mark :

What do you think of the letter I composed for you?

Customer:

Dr. Mark this letter is nice written

Customer:

should I say I'm his friend and I wont help him and us

Customer:

as well

Dr. Mark :

What do you mean "I won't help him and us"?

Customer:

help him to understand himself ... us meant relationship

Dr. Mark :

Do you mean you can't help him understand himself? Why not?

Customer:

I just wondering why I have negative impact on him

Customer:

he does't want to meet but rather contact with me by mails

Dr. Mark :

May I give you my honest opinion?

Dr. Mark :

You haven't responded, so I guess that mean I can, right?

Dr. Mark :

I don't believe you have been a negative influence.

Dr. Mark :

From what he has written it is clear that he is troubled. He is very troubled within himself.

Dr. Mark :

You have been a good influence, but he is not ready to be happy and to feel good.

Dr. Mark :

That is my concern.

Dr. Mark :

So, do you think we should add to what I wrote?

Customer:

yes

Dr. Mark :

What would you like to add?



"It meant a lot to me that you care about me and my son and that you miss us. My son and I miss you so much as well. But I see you are very troubled right now and I hope you can find someone to talk with who can help you understand what you need to understand so that you are more at peace. And



here is a directory of Christian counselors I found and thought maybe someone there could help:


http://www.aacc.net/shop/ccn/ccn_disclaimer.php


This is a directory of counselors who are practicing Christians and so they may be able to give good guidance."



Customer:

I think this is perfect short letter

Customer:

I offer him a help

Dr. Mark :

I am glad because I think also that short is important here.

Customer:

should I say if he still wants to write to me he can because I'm here for him

Dr. Mark :

No. Because if he says that he needs to keep "enduring"--meaning that he is not willing to come back and be happy--and he's not ready to talk to anyone, you still need to move on.
Because

Dr. Mark :

this is too hurtful to you. And it is hurting your son.

Customer:

ok so I will send him the letter what you wrote

Dr. Mark :

Remember: you are a good person. And you deserve to be happy. Yes, you love him. But he is troubled and he is not willing to feel good. He believes he needs to "endure". But you need to raise your son and live your life with good feelings, not tortured feelings. That's not good for you or your son. So, please remember, you are sending this to him in hopes he wants to have a good life. But if not, you need to move on because that is what you need for you and your son.


Okay, I wish you the very best!


 


My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Customer:

thank you so much Dr. Mark .

Customer:

thank you to make me understand

Dr. Mark :

You are a good person and your son is fortunate to have you as his mother.


Okay, I wish you the very best!


 


My goal is for you to feel like you've gotten Great Service from me and the site. If we need to continue the discussion for that to happen, then please feel free to reply and we'll continue working on this. If the answer has given you the help you need, please remember to give a rating of 5 (Great Service) or 4 (Informative and helpful), or even 3 (Got the job done) button. This will make sure that I am credited for the answer and you are not charged anything more than the deposit you already made by pressing any of these buttons. Bonuses are always appreciated! If I can be of further help with any issue now or in the future, just put "For Dr. Mark" in the front of your new question, and I'll be the one to answer it. All the best, XXXXX XXXXX

Customer:

excellent service !

Dr. Mark :

Thank you. If you could give a positive rating before you leave, I would be grateful. All the best.

Customer:

i will

Customer:

bye Dr. MARK

Dr. Mark :

All the best.

Dr. Mark, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 5111
Experience: Dr. Mark is a PhD in psychology helping with relationships
Dr. Mark and 4 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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