Hi! I'll be glad to help you with this issue.
I can understand why this would be very difficult--not just because of the English, but emotionally.
So you want to ask him not to contact you any more, correct?
He only write email no phone calls
I think if he will see I'm struggle with mails and emotionally he will understand it
and he unfortunately will stop write to me
i don't want ask him to stop write to me but I rather explain why I want to stop reply on his mails
What would you like to happen?
Do you mean you would like to start a personal relationship again?
not at all
I love him very much
I would do anything to get back to each other
I really don't Understand why he writes to me
So, you would like your letter to ask him to clarify his intentions?
I was keep asking myself if this will be a good think to do - stop emails
If your heart's desire is to get back together, why would you want to stop the emails? Why
not ask if he's ready to come closer again?
he mentioned couple weeks ago in his mail that he is not sure but God doesn't want him to get married. I never asked him about marriage
So it seems like he might still be unstable?
You this I should continue writing
he set that Holly Spirit hit him
That god wants him to help others
he is hairstylist
Doctor Mark, I really don't know what to do
That's understandable: he's really made it difficult.
if I would knew what is in his head now ..
But before we decide what you should do, we need to figure out what you want and what is possible.
always in the end of the mail he writes "Love, Ande')
It sounds as though you want him to be ready to get back into a serious relationship leading to marriage so that
you and your son aren't disappointed and hurt again, right?
I keep asking myslef why he writes "LOVE" maybe because he is close to God , he loves everybody or he still loves me
my son is over 4 years old so he misses him ,
I'm hurt , I try to do anything to heal my heart
I understand, but I'm concerned for you because getting back into
I try to keep myself busy. school and work
I'm 32 and my ex 33
the same situation you were in that broke your heart will
only break your heart again, is this not right?
his birthday are this month on 22 th
And so I'm concerned that whatever his meaning for the word
he said he believes we will meet but..
he is not emotionally stable at this point in his life.
Would you be willing to date to find a more stable Mr. Right?
date with somebody else
Yes, to date other men to find Mr. Right who is stable?
I was thinking about that if I would meet somebody but write now I'm compare boys to my ex and I really dont go out anymore
all my vacation I stayed home
I'm concerned because while your ex has many wonderful attributes,
he is not ready for a stable relationship.
And so you and your son are left with pain in your heart.
I really don't know what he means by word "love"
That's right, you don't and there's no way to know without asking him.
yes .. he is not stable
I let him in my son's life and he left us so sudden
And that he's not stable, is this not an indication that
you should not compare the men you meet to him?
That you should let them be themselves and you see how you feel about them
and not compare?
I'm scared that I will not find somebody who treat me so good
no arguments , no drama
everything was so perfect
I didn't even no it was coming- breakup
You have to reread what you just wrote to me and see something:
you say it was perfect because there were no arguments
but good marriages can have arguments, that's not an issue.
and he was always there for me
But he was not always there for you, was he?
and I always was there for him
Yes, and you still are. But he's not there for you, is he?
and he was good for my son , played with him all the time
But he didn't play with your son all the time, he's not playing now
no he is not
Again, I'm concerned that you are trying to make one moment in his life
into his whole life
and he's signaled that he is not looking for that life
he is looking for a more solitary life where he's not committed to another person
isn't that true?
he doesn't look to meet somebody new
only him and God
He doesn't look to meet anyone, right?
and I believe it
Not even you, right?
if he would love me he wouldn't hurt me
he said he misses us
and he cries
Is that good enough?
but I would me scared that he could hurt us again
not for me
not good for me
I have to move with my life
I can't sleep , I'm stressed and my son sees me sad
Why he still wants be in touch
he doesn't realized this is so hard for me enough
I wish it was different and I wish you could have both.
But you can't both move on and let the pain he caused fade into the past
and also find out if he really might come back. You must decide. Which do you think?
I told him i was the one who got left and this is extremely hard for me
So you now have to decide if you want to go right back into the same possibility of being hurt or if you want to move on. Which do you think?
Then your letter needs to be very brief, short and to the point:
I know that
if you could help me
should I send him letter after or before his birthday
and it needs to say : I am seeking a loving relationship that will lead to marriage for me and a father for my son. I had hoped it would be with you, but your life has moved on to a different path. It hurts me too much to keep hoping that you want to come back to us. And so I ask you to please stop writing to me as I need to move on. I wish you the very best in your journey.
That would be the letter; you would cry for a little while and then move on.
What do you think?
gosh very emotional ...
maybe we should add the emails doesnt help me to heal
and hope he understands me
hope he will not think I find somebody after this letter
Why not? Isn't the letter to tell him that you need to find someone else because he's not ready?
what about if I want to stop because its not healthy for me
Okay, I can see that. Shall we rewrite it?
I don't want to hurt him saying Im seeking for someone else
I am seeking a loving relationship that will lead to marriage for me and a father for my son. I had hoped it would be with you, but your life has moved on to a different path. It hurts me too much to keep hoping that you want to come back to us. And so I ask you to please stop writing to me as it is not healthy for me. I wish you the very best in your journey.
and could you add something about that I hope he understands me
should I also mentioned if he needs any help you know where to find me ?
I am seeking a loving relationship that will lead to marriage for me and a father for my son. I had hoped it would be with you, but your life has moved on to a different path. It hurts me too much to keep hoping that you want to come back to us. And so I ask you to please stop writing to me as I need to move on. I hope that you understand me as I don't want to hurt you. I wish you the very best in your journey.
Mentioning he knows where to find you is inviting him to contact you, is it not?
So look this over and see if it is right:
do you think if I make a good decision
do I make a good decision
Yes, I do. Because he is not stable now, thinking about your and your son's needs. Rather
he is thinking about his needs.
You need to take care of yourself and your son.
should I send him letter before his birthday or after
one more think so what do you think when he writes in the end of his mail "love Andre" what he meant by this
hard to tell
I think he meant it in general. Meaning, that he does feel love for you, BUT
I thought so
not that this love is enough to make him change his behavior.
Has this been helpful to you?
Okay, I wish you the very best!
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