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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Ive been seeing this person over the net for awhile and things

Resolved Question:

I've been seeing this person over the net for awhile and things were going great or so I thought. But now that I'm more myself and out of the dream phase I'm starting to notice this isn't something I want. They are manipulative and try to make me seem like I'm ignorant without them to guide me. I'm sick of it and want out but I have several concerns before I can break ties and be done. First being they made comments in a joking fashion about care for me or I'll kill ya. Now I'm aware of a joke when I hear it but now this is troubling to remember as I want out. Second, comments were made in reguards to being the type to harm what is closest to me if I harmed them emotionally. Obvious why this now worries me. Third being a comment about having enough photos of myself to post to pornographic websites. While all 3 of these are just comments and no actual threats they concern me deeply that if I break this what might happen. I feel foolish for allowing myself to fall into this mess and know I have to get out I'm just not sure of the appropriate way to avoid these issues.
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help you with this situation,

If this person has made threats to you, then you need to be out of this relationship.

You must save all of the threatening contacts that.

If you have given this person personal pictures of a sexual nature or just even naked pictures of you, he is forbidden by law to publish them or make them public on the internet

I assume that this is a man and you are a woman, but you did not reveal either's gender in your style of writing, and even referred to the other person in the plural, as "they".

It doesn't matter about anybody's gender, but if there are threat to harm you or your loved ones or to out your pictures then I strongly suggest that you print out all of the threats made to you and bring them to the public prosecuting attorney or to your own attorney. I also suggest that you block this person from your computer and phone if 'he' has your number.

Your attorney or the prosecuting attorney may write him a letter warning him that he is in danger of being charged with terroristic threatening, harassment, and perhaps blackmail if he has threatened to use the pictures to gain favor or profit from you.

If you continue to let him terrorize you it will be a lot more dangerous than if you do NOT act.

These are cowardly and empty threats, most likely, from a nasty and sick mind. I urge you to have no fear of him and defend yourself by going on the offensive. He does not want to go to trial and face possible fines or jail time for this.j

I shall keep you in my prayer for courage, safety, and victory.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you. I would print the information if it wasn't said to me verbally. I am so confused on the issue of if this person could truly be capable of this or if it was just talk as you say.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.

Dear friend,

Thank you for getting back to me.

It is plain that the person has terrified you. You can a wide variety of devices that are tiny but still give clear audio (and video) recordings. They often have built in USB so you can transfer them in an instant, email them,, and save them.

 

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=hidden%20recording%20devices&sprefix=hidden+re%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Ahidden%20recording%20devices

You could have this on your person and record the conversations and then take the to the local DA or prosecuting attorney or to your attorney.

They are admissable evidence in some court jurisdictions.

Even if they are not, when this person knows that you have them and have given them to others, he will not dare to act because he has now become a suspicious and potentially dangerous person in the eyes of the law.

Making the statements/threats that he did also makes him a criminal and on that basis you can also get an order of protection against him which will make him a law-breaker if you goes near you or contacts you.

People who make threats need to be guarded against and the best way is to make it through the law.

Even if the law cannot act against him for his threats because of a recording, that fact that he knows you have them will put a damper on him, and a letter from your attorney will do even more.

Block him from contacting you and be on your guard and be prepared to defend yourself with whatever legal means you are comfortable with.

I still believe he is just a threatening coward, but it is better to be safe than sorry and defend yourself in all ways possible.

I keep you in my prayers

Elliott

Customer: replied 1 year ago.
I will seek out one of these devices. I have been pulling myself away from him slowly, not responding to messages and just showing disinterest etc making myself undesirable and hoping he takes the bait and leaves. I have never been one to scare easy but I am terrified he would hurt my family. He lives overseas as well, and does not have the means to travel but I still fear the possible outcomes. The photos do not worry me as much as my families lives and my own. I also made the mistake of purchasing a gift once via PayPal for him and they gave my address. You've been so helpful please continue, I desperately need it
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Since he is overseas and unable to travel he seems to be less of a threat.

If you do get a recording, send it to the visa office of the US Justice Department with his full name and address and this will probably make him a persona non grata in the eyes of the government and he won't get a passport.

Just end contact with him abrupty, from this very moment forward and if he writes by mail and threatens you then report him to the FBI or USPS police.

I wish you great fortune and urge you not to worry You are way out of reach and if you don't respond then he will get bored and find another victim.

God bless,

Elliott
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
Thank you truly. You have helped my troubled mind. I hope you have bright days ahead.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear friend,

Thank you so much for those kind words. I know that you too will find bright days ahead.

May God watch over ad protect you and bring you joy and fulfillment.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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