Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about your losses, about your baby and of this relationship.
What you describe in your message is very sad and frustrating
Since it effectively shows a person who has a tough time being in a mature and committed relationship, who is emotionally unstable, an suffers of these serious and chronic mental healthy disorders.
I do agree with you, my words were related to your statement around the current status of your relationship, since you said he told you he has decided to be just your friend, right?
Didn't you also say that you have not had sex any longer since he decided to keep you as a friend only?
I do believe you truly care about each other, and as you said it's been his PTSD, panic disorder and recent illness, besides of the fact he has this serious issue around commitment, what have been limiting your relationship this much.
How old is this person?
And you have been dating for 5 months only, right?
I see, then it could be that his serious mental health disorders are the biggest limitations undermining his ability to be in the relationship, trust and work on it with more consistency, but even then, all his other behaviors seems to show he really wants to do his best to keep it and make it better.
Since he is a young person and your relationship is young, I believe the best approach is not to push him at all, but to be understanding, patient, and supportive.
I am sorry to know that is the way it happened.
Right, these are chronic and serious mental health disorders, but every person is unique and only you know how much you could cope with it and be able to work on a relationship limited by these core and big limitations.
Is he receiving treatment to actually work on his rehabilitation process?
The best way you can help a person presenting all these issues and disorders is by being empathic, patient, supportive, affectionate, and assertive sharing
Modeling the very behaviors you know he needs to learn and develop within himself, offering sound advice
Unhappily here we are talking or serious mental disorders which would not just disappear. healing is not possible but rehabilitation is real, but it depends on real and hard work with adequate professional psychological treatment and it is a long term process.
You can only support him as a friend-partner, but he requires a professional to help him with his treatment, nobody can help him with that but only a professional
I am sorry but there is no way this person could be and feel better unless he actively works on his rehabilitation processes from these serious chronic disorders, and denying, or avoiding these disorders and the need for him to work on his treatment would not help but only worsen his situation, time would not bring relief but deepen the pain and dysfunction if untreated.
I do think he does but it is limited by his own serious issues
Love is not an abstract experience but a reality depending on personality, values, beliefs, fears, expectations, maturity , mental health and more, this is why without taking good care of our core needs, we cannot offer and share in healthy and fulfilling ways with other people in relationships.
Being fully honest, open, empathic and gentle at the same time, showing how much you care about him
You're very welcome
I support you. Please work on it and feel free to contact me back to follow up.
Since I am willing to support you as possible.
Thank you for your trust. Bye for now.