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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1822
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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What do I do now??!!

Resolved Question:

What do I do now??!!
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 10 months ago.

Dear XXXXX : Thank you for your question.
Dear XXXXX : I am here to help you.
Customer:

Hi,

Customer:

How r u

Dear XXXXX : If you could tell me a little bit about what is going on I can assist you and tell you what you should do next. Thank you again.
Customer:

I recently broke up with my boyfriend.

Customer:

its nearly a month now. I dont know what to do

Dear XXXXX : Do you still have feelings for him?
Customer:

We dated for like 6 years in december

Customer:

of cause I do. I love him.

Dear XXXXX : Why did you decide to break up?
Customer:

The reason breaking up with him is because of him

Customer:

he look so depressed and not happy. So I let him go but it is so hard for me

Dear XXXXX : Does he have a depression problem?
Customer:

Letting go is not an easy thing to do. I miss him so much and wanted him back so badly but I wanted him to be happy too

Customer:

Yes. He has a depression but doesnt want to admit it

Dear XXXXX : Some times events happen in people's lives that change them. You feel he has a depression problem which you would not in any way be the cause if him being unhappy.
Dear XXXXX : Prple with depression go through times where they are sad.
Dear XXXXX : One very common depression is when the seasons change.
Dear XXXXX : A person that is depression needs to find things that help them out if the state they are in.
Customer:

Hes too stubborn for it.

Customer:

I wanted him back. I wanted to talk to him. Im proud of myself for not calling him or texting him. I wanted to give him space but like I said it is too hard for me

Dear XXXXX : I want you to know that his unhappiness is not your relationship with him.
Customer:

what do I do. I cant move on yet and I wanted to move on as well

Customer:

im stuck.

Customer:

well not when he said he missed out on his 20s becauee of me and I am suffocating him

Customer:

he has no fun in his life because of me

Dear XXXXX : Do you feel like you should work things out and be together?
Customer:

I dont know what I want anymore

Dear XXXXX : I do not feel like he feels that way now that you left.
Dear XXXXX : I am sure he is heart broken.
Dear XXXXX : Some times people do not realize how much they love someone until they are gone.
Customer:

I didnt received any calls or texts from him at all.

Dear XXXXX : Then they spend a lot of time getting them back and regretting what they said.
Customer:

He didnt try to contact me

Dear XXXXX : That is because he is upset and doesn't want to call or text because he feels you left so you no longer want him back.
Dear XXXXX : It is very common for people not to contact each other again because they feel like the person does not want to ever heard from ten again.
Dear XXXXX : *them again
Customer:

I dont know .. I dont know what I want

Dear XXXXX : You have been together a long time and people go through changes in their lives.
Dear XXXXX : When a relationship first starts you are learning about each other.
Dear XXXXX : Its exciting and new.
Dear XXXXX : But then people begin to get comfortable in a relationship.
Dear XXXXX : At first couples try to impress each other and then as time passes thing get comfortable.
Dear XXXXX : Then as the relationship progresses life gets in the way.
Dear XXXXX : People in the beginning are fully focused on a relationship because its new.
Customer:

I tried so hard to get this relationship to work

Dear XXXXX : But then over time people settle into their lives.
Dear XXXXX : and life becomes a distraction.
Customer:

I had my life together .. I m getting my house and get a baby soon anf all

Customer:

now all gone

Customer:

I felt like I have nothing left in me

Customer:

When we first broke up, I put my brave face on and moving on with my life

Customer:

but in reality right now a month after, I am still crying over him and realize I cant move on

Customer:

I miss him so much.

Customer:

I miss us together

Dear XXXXX : He days he feels suffocated that not how he feels about you , that's how he feels about life. He needs to make some changes to be happy but that does not mean he can't be happy with you. You both could work together to help him find what is missing in his life. He's going to be Ben more unhappy over the break up. He's going to miss you and wish he did things different to keep you. You had your whole life planned and that should not be taken from you.
Dear XXXXX : He needs to fix himself do that you both can have a healthy happy relationship together.
Dear XXXXX : He can fix these problems and still be together.
Customer:

he isnt and thats why we eneded up here

Customer:

it had been going on for a while now

Customer:

he has issues for a while and I kept putting up with them and get worse thays why I let hom go

Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1822
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
Dear Debra and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 10 months ago.
I wanted to check in and see how you are doing? If you have anymore question I am here to answer. You can address your questions too me by Labeling your question dear Debra this way I will be able to help you again. Thank you for your question.

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