Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming experience
What I see based on your story is that when you knew about her experience you got so impacted by it, that it triggered overwhelming negative feelings and emotions within you to the point of feeling traumatized by it. What you describe shows you have developed an anxiety disorder, where you have become obsessed to what she told about her experience.
Finally, for you to get your mental health back and your well-being, please you need to look for professioanl psychological treatment / psychotherapy.
You need to start your rehabilitation process as soon as possible in order for this disorder not to get worse and deteriorate your health even more.
Can you read my text now?
Hmmm.... I don't think it's that serious. I'm really quite good. It's just been a nagging thing that I can't seem to shake. We have a very healthy open relationship and I just want.....
a perspective on whether or not I should talk to her about it again.
I am sorry the chat interface is not working fine, it erased a whole paragraph I typed before
I am glad to know you feel this way. As I was saying before in response to your questions, I do not recommend you to get deeper into this subject, because it would fuel yoru obsession, reinforcing it with the compulsive need to know more and more about it
Then denying, avoiding or repressing your feelings and concerns, would not help either, but fuel more anxiety and the obsessive ideation.
This is very tricky since you need to release your anxiety but if focusing on the obsession you would get trapped in this obsessive-compulsive viscious circle
If you feel it is not this serious at all, then wonderful, but please be very aware of my words in order for you to identify it this evolves the way I am depicting here, since this is the way these disorders use to happen
Then if you find yourself presenting more obsessive ideation and the compulsions to find out more about it, please look for psychotherapeutic support to work on it, since there is no other effective way to face and rehabilitate from this type of disorder in case it is what is happening to you.
Does it make sense?
Totally makes sense. I'm pretty sure I don't have a disorder from which I need rehabilitation. It's by no means consuming my life or affecting my health. I was looking more for some tips on how to let the thoughts/feelings go when they do come up.
I am ans will be here to support you, I'd like to follow up and see how this situation evolves, and based on it you would work on the best way of coping with it , while taking good care of yourself and of your relationship.
Just to be clear, you're saying I shouldn't go deeper into the subject/ bring it up with my girlfriend again? For her sake, my sake, or both? I feel like there's really no reason for her sake to talk about it again, but it certainly is intriguing the way I've reacted to this situation which makes me think it would be worthwhile to explore for myself.
I do not think it would help at all to insist on this past situation any more.
I think it is not only worthy but necessary, and that's why I made previous suggestions, but you will see how it evolves and based on your concrete experience you would better know what is necessary for you to do.
So, other than psychotherapy, do you have any other suggestion?
Do work on releasing any negative feeling and emotions you may have, do not repress them, focus on productive and enjoyable activities, and do not fuel negative ideation-thinking
avoid passivity, and focus on creating experiences that promote your sense of well-being and fulfillment as an individual and in your relatiosnhip
always learn more about stress management and anxiety control through books, classes or programs
focus on the present, on concrete reality happening in front of you rather than on past or future, which are only illusions happening in our minds
That should help you.
Thanks. Can you suggest any books?
A good one I do always recommend is "The Power of Now".
It sis about mindfulness, and how to take better care of yourself, your relationships and effectively cope
Ah yes. Eckhart Tolle. I know it well.
Yes, that's the author
"The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques". This is good too for anxiety related problems.
Great. I'll check it out.
You could review this one too: "The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living".
Very helpful and addressing problems from different approaches
Thank you for your trust.
Please feel free to contact me if you have any further questions since I am here willing to support you.