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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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I run a small construction business. My boyfriend of six years

Resolved Question:

I run a small construction business. My boyfriend of six years works with me. Recently I had to make a tough decision in which in doing so cost me one of my biggest accounts. Ever since then my boyfriend has told me several times that "you are the worst business person ever." I don't believe this is true however I am in a funk and cannot get this negative affect this has had on me out of my head. What is the best way to handle this situation? Should I continue this relationship or does his lack of support warrent a breakup?
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 10 months ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this very sad and frustrating situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's obvious you have felt very hurt by his words about what happened, and even more after not getting real understanding, empathy nor support once you confronted him about it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Is this the first time in this six years that he becomes this mean? His behavior is abusive, since he has repeatedly been criticizing you in a very destructive way, which is obviously incompatible with basic respect adult people should offer to each other, even more when into a mature committed relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Different people would feel and react in very unique ways to the same scenario, depending on how they feel, previous issues, personalities, resilience, how hopeful you feel about the relationship, other serious issues and more. Only you know how much this most recent issue could justify a break up, depending on how you fee, what you want and feel able and willing to afford about it.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for joining the chat.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to carefully assess the pros and cons in this relationships, and choose what you feel is the best for you. from your words it is obvious you feel so hurt by his wounding words that you feel you cannot trust somebody with such behavior any longer, and that he does not deserve your affection and commitment anymore. I do support your feelings and I think this reality requires time for you to carefully reflect on it and if you want to give him a new chance, but if he continues to show inability to even acknowledge how hurtful and destructive his behaviors have been, then I would support your decision to seriously consider a break up.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello? Can you read my text?

Customer: No this is not the first time he has been this mean. I guess I just didn't realize meanness could be considered abuse. This has pretty much been going on throughout our whole relationship. Thank you for your support and your kind words. I guess it's back to the drawing board of life.
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 10 months ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

What happens now?

If you haven’t already done so, please rate your answer above. Or, you can reply to me using the box below.
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 10 months ago.
Rafael M.T.Therapist says:
3:42 PM
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
3:42 PM
I am very sorry to know about this very sad and frustrating situation.
3:44 PM
It's obvious you have felt very hurt by his words about what happened, and even more after not getting real understanding, empathy nor support once you confronted him about it.
3:47 PM
Is this the first time in this six years that he becomes this mean? His behavior is abusive, since he has repeatedly been criticizing you in a very destructive way, which is obviously incompatible with basic respect adult people should offer to each other, even more when into a mature committed relationship.
4:02 PM
Different people would feel and react in very unique ways to the same scenario, depending on how they feel, previous issues, personalities, resilience, how hopeful you feel about the relationship, other serious issues and more. Only you know how much this most recent issue could justify a break up, depending on how you fee, what you want and feel able and willing to afford about it.
4:12 PM
Thank you for joining the chat.
4:12 PM
You need to carefully assess the pros and cons in this relationships, and choose what you feel is the best for you. from your words it is obvious you feel so hurt by his wounding words that you feel you cannot trust somebody with such behavior any longer, and that he does not deserve your affection and commitment anymore. I do support your feelings and I think this reality requires time for you to carefully reflect on it and if you want to give him a new chance, but if he continues to show inability to even acknowledge how hurtful and destructive his behaviors have been, then I would support your decision to seriously consider a break up.
4:20 PM
Hello? Can you read my text?

* I changed from chat to Q&A postings to make sure we could communicate since he chat interface has many bugs. Thank you for your patient. Please feel free to reply. I am here to support you.
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 10 months ago.
You're very welcome. Only now I can read your reply. Any form of emotional or verbal mistreatment, meanness, lack of caring and sensitivity could be considered abuse, even more if it becomes a pattern and you let the other person know how painful and hurtful it is, and he perpetuates the wounding behavior.

Only you know how frustrating and painful it's been for you to undergo this for this long. I support your feelings and think it is not a healthy relationship because of this pattern.

Thank you for your trust. I am here to assist you, thus please feel free to contact me for any further support. Thanks.
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 10 months ago.

Its a shame some boys never grow up. Thank you for your advice, you have been a huge help!

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