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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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You seem so wise in all the answers you give. I work for myself

Customer Question

You seem so wise in all the answers you give. I work for myself on the web now and have been forced to see state psychiatrists for medicine for over 30 years. Would it be OK to enlist you as my private psychotherapist please on a regular basis here on Just Answer to get second opinions on things maybe different to the people I have no real choice in using presently?
Submitted: 10 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 10 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

Thank you so very much for your confidence in my abilities. JustAnswer has begun to give this option to some of the questions. They have not offered it for too many questions but when they do I am allowed to give out my website and establish a private relationship with a client.

Otherwise I am not permitted to send my contact information to JustAnswer customers unless I am told otherwise. I am so sorry but I have no control of the inner workings of this organization.

If you try to send your contact information to me then it will be automatically changed to XXX@XXXXXX.XXX or something of that nature.

Otherwise, I would be delighted to work with you.

I certainly don't blame you for trying to get away from National Health.

Perhaps there will be an opportunity for us to get together. I have a phone conference with one of the administrators tomorrow and I shall bring this up.

If there is anything that I can otherwise assist you with pleae don't hesitate to get back with me.

Warm regards,

Elliott, LPCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 9 months ago.
Thanks for your reply.
Life has got very different for me lately.
Having resigned myself to the life of a non performing
out patient with all of the stigma and snobbery that
goes along with that, I now find myself running what
could well turn out to be one of those fast internet
success stories you read about but never think
will happen. Half of me is very excited about it
and wants to make the best of my new found
luck, but there is a nagging legacy part of me
from the past that just wants to say to myself
"you will probably be dead in 20 years from
medicine side effects anyway, why bother?
Why not just watch telly or go to the movies?"
and it is this latent self destructive part of me
that I really am concerned about. The self
destructive part of me that just says
give in, give up and quit.
What do you think I should do?
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you for getting back to me.

First, let speak to the very excited half of you that has found such great success with your internet business or service. I would be very happy to be in your position. Twenty years is a lot of time, and things will change beyond your comprehension and ability to predict in much less time, so enjoy your success, make your life more comfortable and secure, and share what you can for the benefit of others, particularly your loved ones or loved ones to be.

If you are having problems with pharmaceutical side-effects then you must do research and consultation about improving your medication regime.

Watching telly or otherwise giving your mind over to the thoughts and sometimes the agendas of others, is a form of self-negation and spiritul/emotional/intellectual suicide.

The self-destructive thoughts you describe sound like continued depression, which is characterised by lack of enthusiasm, lowered feelings of self-esteem, thoughts of ultimate death, and loss of interest.

Perhaps you need to investigate if your depression (from which I assume you are suffering) is needing different medications, and if your current meds can be changed to lower side effects.

Great blessings to you,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I feel much better now after making a few adjustments.
Thanks.
But I am left with one over bearing problem in that I originally went to see a psychiatrist to ask a few questions about things and find out what was normal etc but now, after too many years of consultations I think, he has turned the regular appointments around into a kind of question and answer interrogation session each time that I no longer really find attractive.
Can you please advise me of what I can say to this endless series of professionals to explain to them that I don't really want to tell them the whole story any more, and want to try to start to keep some on my mind private and secluded from them? It's like they know so much about me now they are beginning to assume control.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

You will need to become very adept at answering them in cheerful, general terms and need to let them know that you have covered this ground before and ask THEM what their suggestions are.

Tell them your information has been well documented and instead of subjecting you to endless repetition of the same questions that they might perhaps come into the session better prepared.

Tell them that you would have so much more confidence in them if they seemed to be up on your case and spent the time moving forward rather than re-hashing what they should already know.

Be very patient with them, much as you would tolerate anyone else seemed ignorant but had a position of power over you.

Be kind and told allow them to say that you are hostile or avoiding the questions.

From wnat you tell me, you are right to be annoyed. Don't show them that you are annoyed however as they will say you are depressed.

Perhaps you will be lucky and actually find someone intellitent who also cares.

I wish I could do more to help you. At least, I care.

God bless,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
You were right.
I was commiting intellectual, spiritual, and emotional suicide in trying to subject my whole life to the will of other people.
It was like they got me hooked on them making all the main decisions in life for me.
I have regained a sense of control and autonomy now by building another website.
It is completely my own code, written in php so nobody can copy it and wreck it and take control of it like they have always tried to do.
I think privacy and secrecy and ownership and keeping all good things in life away from the manipulating control of others is now a valid philosophy of life in itself, and turns out to mean you end up needing much less so get satisfied much more easily.
But you were right.
They got me hooked on them taking control.
Thanks for your timely answer.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thank you so much for your kind words and confidence. You seem like a brilliant man in your field and will have much more success now that you can avoid lesser mortals looking over your shoulder and second guessing you.

I wish you great blessings and success.

Warmest regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
Is it legal or illegal for my neighbor to be having an affair with my dad, as I think has been the case for quite some time now?

I am not married, and I have never had many relationships, but both my married parents are octogenarian and quite rich, and I think she is using him for his money.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

Thanks for getting back to me.

I believe I can help with this.

As long as your dad is in full control of his mental faculties, he is free to associate with anyone he pleases, even if he is being adulterous or giving her his money or property. It it is also your mum's property there may be a legal issue here.

If he seems unable to care for himself properly then you and/or your mum could get custody of him and that would include over his bank account.

However, if he is just acting foolishly or being seduced and manipulated by a woman after his money, you can do nothing.

If you think that he is in a gray area of behaviour, or if you believe she is involved in an illegal activity to defraud him (rather than just charm and seduce him) out of his money or his possessions, then I suggest you speak to a solicitor to see if either she can be stopped or scared away, or if there are grounds to become his custodian because of the loss of his facility to properly care for himself.

There are some lines between the unethical and the illegal here, and a solicitor, particularly one that deals in mental competency cases, would advise you on whether or not you can take further action.

I wish you great success in working this out favourable and shall continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I have lost faith in the local state psychiatric system completely here now. It is a bit like realising all of a suden your partner is sleeping around regularly or something. It is an irrevesible conclusion and I feel very alone all of a sudden. I think I originally started using them because I thought they were going to be like Woody Allen's psychoanalist in all his films but they turned out to be more like interrogating jailers really. I now realise I have to start treating them a bit different but in the same way though. They are still my only source of medicine so I cannot just dump them. But I need to start to behave a bit like an undercover agent or intelligence spy with them now. Just to stay safe so they don't lock me up or up my dose just on a power trip whim. Any advice on how to deal with them? I know they are a bad lot now. Always thought they would just be like Woody Allen's psychoanalist..........................
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

I fully understand what you are facing. There is much incompetency, evil, greed, and indifference with many professionals in the various fields of health, mental and physical, as well as in many of the other professions.

It is hard to find someone to trust.

So many people are also judged for their political correctness, i.e. thought crimes.

Bob Dylan, many years ago wrote:

"If my thought dreams could be seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine."


That is why you are correct to be like an undercover agent or inteligence spy, as you say. I would say you must be a good script writer and character actor.

I understand your fears and I shall tell you what to avoid. If you were truly disturbed you would not want to do this and would not read the situation as you do.

Perhaps I am mistaken, my intuition tells me to trust what you said. I do understand what you are facing.

-try to find something positive about them and see them in a positive light

-give the a firm handshake when you first greet them

-smile and look them in the eyes, gently, and break the ice with some friendly chit chat, such as "I'm looking forward to a nice Christmas this year. I hope the weather is good (unless you are in some place like San Diego or Miami).

-be very well groomed, polished shoes, nice clothes, etc.

-keep your attention on them and don't be distracted

-keep your tone relaxed, and don't volunteer any information

-make simple statements

-don't be defensive

-don't let them irk you, and don't show irked body languagte or works

-stay on balance and keep your friendly demeanor

-tell them how good you feel

-if you are feeling physical side effects form any of the meds, let them know

-they are your equal but at the moment they are working for you. You are on the same level as they are

-if one tells a joke or makes a humorous statement and chuckles, match his mood., smiling demurely.

-in short, be Mr. Amenable and Mr. Normal rolled up into one Get through it and perhaps wyou will win an acting award. Go for it. Practice in front of a mirror if need be for your role as Mr. Normal. It is a bit part and will just be extrordinarily normal and easilly forgotten.

That is my best advice. I want you to win this one, brother.

Warm regards,

Elliott



-
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 8 months ago.
I think I have got it figured now.

Working on the web, away from people, quietly building websites, testing business theories, and programing in the paranoid insecure world of high competition, ruthless surveillance, viruses, trojans, and hardware and software sabotage is the perfect world for someone like me to thrive in in a working atmosphere, using my insecurities and natural paranoia to my own positive commercial and financial advantage for once, instead of having all my spirit drained out of me by the state psychiatrist. I have put back my 4 weekly appointment by 4 weeks x2 now, felt slightly alone for the first month, but have now got used to it and prefer it to the faked up cocoon they had me locked up in before. I will still go back as often as I legally must to get the medicine, but no more than that. My life is now a 246 working life on the web, in the real, hard bitten commercial business internet marketing world. I took a bit of a chance in telling you that but I did. With feedom comes more risk. I know that. And more danger. But with your help I will be able to minimise both. I applied for work in New York once on the freedom tower when they were still building it upwards a few years ago. I got rejected but I am now free.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 8 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

You write very well. I felt like I was reading early on in a very dark and somewhat sinister novel. You are telling a story from the point of view of a survivor. Your attitude is very clear. It is a positive one and bodes well for your future.

You do well to stay away from the psychiatrists except to get their needed medications.

If there is any way that I can help your or simply support you by being a sounding board, I remain at your disposal.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
A long time ago, you told me to think about what I have rather than what I lost, and you were right. I have taken that philosophy a stage further and in taking stock of my life instead of thinking "where did I go wrong?" as most people do, I have accepted all that has happened, and instead am thinking "where did I go right?".

OK, at first when you start to analyze your circumstances and environment this way, little comes to mind by way of obvious answers, but I have found repeatedly, in moments of despair as well as simple trying to figure things out a bit moments, that, after a few minutes, this philosophy of "where did I go right?" never fails.

Thank you for teaching it me, and best wishes for a happy and prosperous New Year.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Gosh, Michael. I am very touched by your kindness to think of me at the end of a year, with such kind thoughts and words.

Your question, "where did I go right"? brings to bind the "miracle question", as it is called, in Solution-Focused Brief Therapy", a important approach in therapy, and the subject and name of a course I taught several times on the graduate level.

You will find these websites interesting:

http://richerlife.com/2011/07/miracle-question-a-solution-focused-therapy-question/



and


http://key-hypnosis.com/Self-Help/Set-Your-Goals/Solution-Focused-Therapy-Miracle-Question.php




My heartfelt wishes for a wonderful year of growth and enlightenment ahead.

Warmest regards,

Elliott








Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
This "miracle" therapy way of thinking takes a bit of getting used to, but it sure does open up vast areas of your imagination and emotions that were completely blocked off to you before. You end up wondering why did I not think of that before? which can lead to more and more emotionally positive discoveries.
On the debit side of life though my sister has started to try and take control of my life instead of my mother, or rather as well as her now, and things are going to get even worse in a kind of funny philosophical way once they latch on to other things soon I think, but I am never ceased to be amazed how these pavlov hounds behave once they sniff potential legal prosecution dollars..........................
Thanks for your help on this new "miracle therapy" way of thinking well supposing just for a second I might be wrong about this etc................what a week....it's changed my life....thanks again.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear XXXXX,

It is always a great pleasure to talk to you.

Once you understand the power of positive thinking, and also understand that if you have succeeded once then you CAN succeed again, then problem solving seems so much easier.

Nobody can take control of your life unless you cede control. You don't have to meet them head on, either. You just have to smile and ignore their attempts. Their wish is never your command.

You don't need to take a resistant stance, but just casually, warmly ignore demands placed up you.

Once more, best wishes to you for a wonderful new year.

Warmest regards,

Elliott





shtemDJtous
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 7 months ago.
got a job trial in a Red Cross charity shop for two mornings a week tomorrow. Hope I get it. Too much programming can turn you into a machine I think now. How much would you tell them about your "other life" if it were you not me? Nothing I guess. Me neither. Only asking to check.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 7 months ago.
Dear XXXXX.

That is great news. This could be the start of the uphill climb you have been looking for.

It it was I starting with this job, I would be friendly in a very quiet way. I would smile when I spoke and I would not say anything about my emotional or family life or any of my past difficulties.

I would talk in general terms and would not react in anybway that would show that a question disturbed me. I would just talk around it without showing it made me uncomfortable.

Nobody will be pressing you for your details. You are there to help sell gifts for a charity organization and a pleasant demeanor and dress will be enough to secure you the job, which I am sure you will work at proficiently.

I am so happy to hear that you have found this good opportunity - a positive step in the right direction.

God bless and warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
thanks.
The trial day went well and they have asked me back for Monday mornings now,
subject to the forms being approved that they want me to fill out for
background checks and motivation.
Maintaining a pleasant demeanour and dress code seems like vital advice which
I could overlook in the future if I am not careful.
It looks like life is all going to be focused around Monday mornings for a bit.
Thanks for your advice.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 6 months ago.
oDear XXXXX,

I am quite thrilled with your progress and wisdom to follow those simple guidelines. Forward movement is positive progress.

It is not the speed at which you move but the direction.

If you want to be sure that keep up your dress code, post yourself a little sign in an obvious place.

write:

SMILE ! IT'S MONDAY. HOW DO I LOOK?

It could even be on you bathroom mirror. Smile

I am proud of your progress and am keeping you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 6 months ago.
I have found re reading this whole file from over the last few months as very helpful. It provides a kind of patent, or blueprint, for me to re read and re structure my life upon. I think if I re read it carefully enough, and often enough, I should be OK now. Thank you.
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 6 months ago.
Dear Michael,

This is so kind. You are a good man and you SHOULD be OK.

Warm regards,

Elliott

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