How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Elliott, LPCC, NCC Your Own Question

Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Elliott, LPCC, NCC is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

ok... so I have been dating this guy since March 2013. We

Resolved Question:

ok... so I have been dating this guy since March 2013. We were talking about the future and he had asked me to get a new job (as I looking) closer to his house so that we could spend more time together. He has a daughter which he is very protective of and I had met her a couple of times which was huge for him. I held back my emotions a lot in the relationship and we never really discussed things at length due to my fears. Everything was fine and I thought we were happy. The only thing that I would ask more of was that we spent more time together but I never really pushed it. He works away every third to forth weekend and has his daughter every second weekend. So we would only spend some weekends together and at least twice during the week. The last time I saw him, I was cranky. I made a remark about him not seeing me and how he makes time for his friends. He was very upset by this. I then asked to hang out with him the next weekend but he said he couldn't. He felt down and had a lot on his mind. He is dealing with a lot of things including work, family and injury. I left him alone for the weekend but he continued to initiate the texting and asking how my day was etc. I pulled right back with the texting but initiated a few phone calls. We continued just to text for the next few weeks but no spending time together. He would always ask about me and make jokes through the texting. I then sent a text asking if we could catch up to sort things out. He pulled right back and stopped all contact. Would reply when I texted but we did make a date. On the day he cancelled because he had hurt his back. I stopped contact for over a week but nothing. I then asked again if I could meet up to get a couple of small things back from him. He agreed but then cancelled again. I'm so confused and would love to have him back in my life but mostly would love to know what happened. At the very least, some closure so I can move on. I don't know how to approach this though. It's been two and a half weeks since any contact which was him cancelling. Would love your thoughts on this situation and any advice you could offer.
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 9 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with this situation.

It is so much easier to see as an outsider looking in.

You are both very defensive and quick to take offense for self-protection. It is so easy to damage and ultimately spoil a good relationship when both individuals are too quick to react to imagined or very small slights, particularly unintentional ones.
I recommend that you write him an email - not a text.

Tell him that you really enjoy his company and miss him very much. Tell him that you are a bit insecure and sometimes over-react to imagined slights and that you think he and you are a lot alike in that regard.

Tell him you would like to start to see him again and wanted to clear the air first by telling him that you value his friendship and want to continue to cultivate it.

Yes, you will be making yourself vulnerable, but if he is the man that I believe he is, he will respond in kind and you can get your relationship back on track again.

You both need a bit more courage and a bit more humility.

If this does not work and he does not respond with the kindness and openness that you will have shown by contacting him in this way, then it will be much easier to get closure and move on, for he will have shown that he is not the man you hoped he was.

I have a hunch, however, that this will work.

Whether or not it does, the end result will be you moving forward with your life.

I wish you courage, wisdom, and patience, and shall keep you in my prayers for success.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency