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RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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So last year my girlfriend had found out about me cheating

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So last year my girlfriend had found out about me cheating on her in our first year of dating. We spoke about it for 3 months and it seemed to have gone away. All of a sudden. 5 weeks ago she came back to me saying that she is miserable and trying to get over what happened is not working for her. We agreed to try to communicate openly about this for a while but ended up not communicating as I was only getting very short responses from her. She also has had extra stress put on her as she is unhappy with her life right now. I also noticed in one situation that she had a text message in her phone from someone who shes works with, he had asked if she was still dating and her response was "i guess". The most recent time I spoke to her she said she has been unhappy for a long time for multiple reasons (this is news to me) and she wants us to break up and see other people. I don't want to break up, or see other people, but i'm not sure where to turn or what to do. This has been a 3 year relationship and yes, we've had ups and downs, but doesn't every relationship?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this overwhelming reality you have been facing in your relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Some people have a harder time coping with infidelity, and regardless of time and new circumstances, they could feel wounded to the point of not trusting anymore. Then common when common issues arise, they could get fueled by past infidelity episode, undermining trust, communication and intimacy even more.

Customer:

Can you explain a little more? Do you think she has moved on?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

She is directly telling you that she does not want to continue, and not only to separate for a while to reflect on things, but to date other people, which is much more serious

Customer:

Do you think there is any chance for reconciliation?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

There is always a chance for reconciliation, but it woudl depend on how each of you feel, what you want and how you work to make it possible.

Customer:

suggestions?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you truly feel it is worthy, that you can and want to wait to see if she changes her mind, then you would do that to show her that no matter what she chooses to do during this period, you would be there working on yourself and hoping for a new chance

Customer:

Do you think she is seeing someone else?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For her to say that she wants to date other people means that she is already open and willing to do that, in case she has not already though about other people.

Customer:

ok Thanks.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You{re very welcome

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Thank you for your trust.

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