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Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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my husband and 16 year old daughter ask me to leave our home

Resolved Question:

my husband and 16 year old daughter ask me to leave our home so they could stay in our home because he was moving with our daughter, did I make a mistake in doing this. I think he is up to something he ask me to go to counseling and both blaming me for my actions being upset and angry all the time. the are telling me that I told my daughter that I would kill her in her sleep and I never said this. A lot of other things like my daughter is locking her bedroom door because she is afraid of me. This is all new and they made a plan to tell me together. I don't know what is going on he is playing head games with me says he wants to try and the next night he is yelling at me that it's over in front of my daughter. they are in this together.
Submitted: 9 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 9 months ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Could you please clarify what your husband is asking you to do? He wants you to leave your own home?

Customer:

yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

How could he ask you to do such a thing, isn't it your house and aren't you still married?

Customer:

yes him and my daughter don't want me to live with them

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If he-they are making statements about things that never happened, like saying that you stated you were going to kill her, this is very serious, and would be abuse if you never said that, it would make sense to think they are trying to manipulate you and justify their actions.

Customer:

yes I know but they both said I said it to her twice and they are both saying I did. how can I say I didn't I don't remember

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Have you had this very dysfunctional relationship with them for long for them to do this against you?

Customer:

ever telling her that. she does shopping with me and everywhere. but he never told me that she was afraid and locks her

Customer:

door until that night on 9/11 he told me he did't love me and it was over.

Customer:

yes he retired in 2008 and he become the mom and dad while I worked. so she got very close to him and they always kept me at arms length. he always side with her over me.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I you did nit say something, then nobody should state you did, but if you do not remember, having doubts about what you said, then they could justify it happened

Customer:

I told I would never say that to her I ask them both when did I say it what were the circumstances why I would say that

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am very sorry to know about this serioussituation

Customer:

my daughter doesn't remember why it happened

Customer:

or my husband

Customer:

what should I do, he has even convinced my other kids and they all are siding with them.

Customer:

its funny she is spending the whole day with me alone tomorrow without her father

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see, then to use such words nobody remembers clearly well when and under which circumstances they were stated, would be very abusive, and could never justify their decision to push you to leave your own home, that is very abusive and unacceptable

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It's concerning that all your adult children have believed such a thing, why you think it has been that way?

Customer:

I think so they are trying to think I am crazy or something.

Customer:

don't know I was always the disaplimentary parent and he was always the fun dad, he did this situation with our son he would side with him, he told my husband that I kept his balls in a jar on the mantel.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do not suggest you to leave for sure, but it would be necessary to find a good attorney in order to get necessary support, since their plans are very serious and you do not want to be expose to any form of further abuse or manipulation by them, since the behaviors you describe here are very serious.

Customer:

I did go down to my mom but left everything there I shower there and dress and take my daughter to school in the morning.

Customer:

I work he is retired and drives a school bus.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That would make sense, when a parent spoil children while the other has to take the full work and responsibility for providing adequate discipline and good education, children grow believing the neglectful parent who spoil them is the good guy who loves them, while the other who sets boundaries and discipline is the man one

Customer:

what to do put camera in the house to see what there up to

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You could do that, and have audio recordings too, if you truly believe they are trying to hurt you, since that would be concrete evidence of any form of emotional and verbal abuse.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Please get a good attorney for him/her to support you on what would be the best approach to take good care of yourself and effectively cope with this very serious situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Does it make sense?

Customer:

yes

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Good, please take gentle care and consistent action getting the support you need to effectively cope with this situation. Thank you for your trust.

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 9 months ago.
Our chat has ended, but you can still continue to ask me questions here until you are satisfied with your answer. Come back to this page to view our conversation and any other new information.

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Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 9 months ago.
Rafael M.T.Therapist says:
8:35 AM
Good, please take gentle care and consistent action getting the support you need to effectively cope with this situation. Thank you for your trust.

(Please do not forget to rate the session. Thank you).
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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