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RealSupport
RealSupport, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3191
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
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My girlfriend had a dream last light about a random guy flirting

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My girlfriend had a dream last light about a random guy flirting with her. In her dream she had the feeling of the desire to cheat on me. Nothing happened though. When we talked about it she told me that in real life (not the dream) she felt a few times scared of destroying our realtionship and losing me because of her fault. She felt scared that she would do something bad (like cheating) that will end our relationship. She has also cheated on her previous 2 boyfriends but she was not happy with them. On the other hand she is extremely happy with me and she tells me that i am her soulmate. I see future with her and i dont want to lose her. We also live in 2 different cities in France approximately 5 hours apart but we are planning to move in together soon. What should i do? Should i trust her?

Thank you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long have you been dating and have you had any concrete reasons-concerns to suspect of, or have known of any lack of loyalty and respect from her during this whole time?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Do you truly feel you love this person and that the feelings and commitment are reciprocal?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I can see you are online but have not joined the chat.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you want to dialogue about it, I am here to support you. Otherwise I will continue to respond to your question.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

What I see here is that you are acknowledging you have been in this relationship where both have been feeling fulfilled, happy and wanting to get even closer in your commitment.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That are planning to relocate and live together in consistency with your love and dreams around your relationship, and that apparently there have not been any issue around lack of trust, fidelity, respect and caring for each other. That she just recently told you about this dream and confessed her fear of rining what you have been feeling together...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That these has been very open and honest and told you about her past infidelities when with her other boyfriends, but that what led to those situations was the unhappiness and lack of fulfillment she experienced with them, while in your relationship she feels very satisfied an with no complain, but willing to get closer and continue building and enriching your lives together as a couple.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Then based on your story, I'd say that everything shows that she is being honest and respectful towards you, to the point of trusting you and sharing about this dream, and her own fears around failing. I think that if she continues to be this honest and open, there should not be any problem in the relatiosnhip.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

That you should only worry if you identify any concrete red flags in the present, or if your relationship becomes distant, non fulfilling or unhealthy, which would promote the chances for infidelity just as what happened with her in the past under such circumstances.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I do not believe manipulative and abusive people would openly acknowledge and trust their partners telling them about their past infidelities since that would not benefit their ego and manipulative tendencies at all.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I believe that staying physically far from each other would not help, and that your plans to start a life together would be the best you could do to continue to build in healthy and positive ways your relationship.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Just keep being mutually open and honest, without hiding things from each other, addressing any issue as soon as it arises and work on improving yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a mature and responsible team. this way you would promote the best possible experience and outcomes.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I see you are int he chat but haven't interacted. Perhaps the chat's bugs haven't allowed you to, but I hope this response makes sense to you. I will change to Q&A option for you to reply as needed. Thanks.

RealSupport and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 3 years ago.


Thank you for your answer.

Rafael M.T.Therapist says:
4:44 PM
Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).
4:46 PM
For how long have you been dating and have you had any concrete reasons-concerns to suspect of, or have known of any lack of loyalty and respect from her during this whole time?
4:48 PM
Do you truly feel you love this person and that the feelings and commitment are reciprocal?
4:52 PM
I can see you are online but have not joined the chat.
4:53 PM Customerhas entered this chat!
Rafael M.T.Therapist says:
4:53 PM
If you want to dialogue about it, I am here to support you. Otherwise I will continue to respond to your question.
4:56 PM
What I see here is that you are acknowledging you have been in this relationship where both have been feeling fulfilled, happy and wanting to get even closer in your commitment.
4:58 PM
That are planning to relocate and live together in consistency with your love and dreams around your relationship, and that apparently there have not been any issue around lack of trust, fidelity, respect and caring for each other. That she just recently told you about this dream and confessed her fear of ruining what you have been feeling together...
5:01 PM
That these has been very open and honest and told you about her past infidelities when with her other boyfriends, but that what led to those situations was the unhappiness and lack of fulfillment she experienced with them, while in your relationship she feels very satisfied an with no complain, but willing to get closer and continue building and enriching your lives together as a couple.
5:03 PM
Then based on your story, I'd say that everything shows that she is being honest and respectful towards you, to the point of trusting you and sharing about this dream, and her own fears around failing. I think that if she continues to be this honest and open, there should not be any problem in the relationship.
5:05 PM
That you should only worry if you identify any concrete red flags in the present, or if your relationship becomes distant, non fulfilling or unhealthy, which would promote the chances for infidelity just as what happened with her in the past under such circumstances.
5:06 PM
I do not believe manipulative and abusive people would openly acknowledge and trust their partners telling them about their past infidelities since that would not benefit their ego and manipulative tendencies at all.
5:08 PM
I believe that staying physically far from each other would not help, and that your plans to start a life together would be the best you could do to continue to build in healthy and positive ways your relationship.
5:09 PM
Just keep being mutually open and honest, without hiding things from each other, addressing any issue as soon as it arises and work on improving yourselves as individuals and the relationship as a mature and responsible team. this way you would promote the best possible experience and outcomes.
5:11 PM
I see you are int he chat but haven't interacted. Perhaps the chat's bugs haven't allowed you to, but I hope this response makes sense to you. I will change to Q&A option for you to reply as needed. Thanks.

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