Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.
I believe that I can help you with your situation.
You seem to be like a ship adrift in a terrible storm with the wind and waves on one side and the rocky coast on the other.
You say he is a devoted father, but how could he be if he is emotionally crushing his children's mother?
You say he spends all his time with you, but that is nothing postive because he torments you constantly.
He does not support you in any way and is causing you to live in fear.
You say that he will do anything that you ask him; if this is true then insist that he goes to a licensed marriage and family therapit with you.
Insist that he negative make a criticism again about your figure, you dancing, your teaching, your food, or anything.
Tell him that he is tormenting you and that you insist that he stop if he values his marriage and wantst to keep it intact.
That is not too much to ask, by any measure.
By mental health standards, you are being emotionally abused by this man, who shows you no love and support you in no way.
He has every reason in the world to be happy with you and proud of you, but instead he very consistently controls you by putting you down.
This is his pleasure. He seems to be a narcissist and derives benefit - called narcissistic supply - by putting you down and controlling your life.
It is doubtful that he will change and probably will not go to therapy.
I would like to recommend two books for you to read and understand what you are facing.
The first book will show you so many insights that you will immediately recognize.
The second is about one way that these relationships can end if they cannot be changed.
You are being destroyed and must gain as much knowledge as possible so that you can make realistic choices about your future. Your present circumstances are untenable; they are like a nightmare.
Here are the books:
I understand that the title of the second book is frightening, but if you cannot turn this around then it may be your best and wisest option.
Try for change, of course, but this will not come easy.
I shall keep you in my prayers.
Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC