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TherapistJen
TherapistJen, LCSW, CPC
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3327
Experience:  Licensed Clinical Social Worker
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I met a guy online and we texted each other for around 3 months.

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I met a guy online and we texted each other for around 3 months. I found out later on that he's married with 2 kids, so I confronted him with that. He apologized from me through multiple emails, and claimed that he & his wife are physically and emotionally separated, and their kids are the only reason they are still together. I accepted his apology, but I asked him not to contact me again. After 6 months he sent me a message stating that he got a divorce. I heard once that who ever lie once (about a major subject), would probably continue lying. I'm not sure wether i can trust him again or not, and i need your advice please. Thanks.

Coach Jen K. :

Hi and welcome. I am a Licensed Master Social Worker with more than 20 years experience working with individuals and families on a variety of issues.

Coach Jen K. :

My gut on this would suggest that you be cautious...even if things weren't great between he and his wife back then he was still not doing right by his wife and kids by texting you and building some feelings.

Coach Jen K. :

so the question for you becomes is that the kind of man you would like to be involved with?

Coach Jen K. :

And is there any way to really know if he has gotten a divorce? My gut says to cut your losses and find someone with honesty and integrity.

Coach Jen K. :

hi

Customer:

Yeah, you're right .. he might be lying about the divorce as well, im not sure.

Coach Jen K. :

yes that concerns me too and why start something with someone whom you already know to be a dishonest person who steps out on his wife. I think you deserve a better man than that

Customer:

turned out his wife is a friend of one of my friends. thats how i knew he's married. and he knew that too! so, yes i can check wether what hes claiming is right or hes again lying

Coach Jen K. :

yes you can but still may not even be worth pursuing.

Customer:

Maybe becuase i have feelings for him, i couldnt be wise in that.

Customer:

i keep wondering wether he deserves a second chance or not

Coach Jen K. :

yes I can understand that and hard for you to let go

Coach Jen K. :

if your heart desires to give him one then only you can be the judge on that

Coach Jen K. :

and if you decide to do so then I hope you can trust and let go and see what develops

Coach Jen K. :

let me know if I can help you further. If not please take a moment to offer a rating

Customer:

and the other thing that concerns me, is that he had a strong love story with his wife 10 yrs ago. I heard that from my firend and he told me that by himself, but then he claimed that he doesnt love her anymore, and so does she (as per his claims)

Customer:

Yet, i cant gurantee that.

Coach Jen K. :

tough decision for you.

Customer:

so im concerned

Coach Jen K. :

follow your heart

Coach Jen K. :

with eyes open

Coach Jen K. :

people have loves before us so that doesn't concern me

Customer:

Alright. thanks alot for your advice.

Coach Jen K. :

my pleasure. I wish you the best with him or someone else

Customer:

thank you

Coach Jen K. :

take great care

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