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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I been married for 25 yrs have 4 daughters who left home ive

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I been married for 25 yrs have 4 daughters who left home ive put up with a lot from my husband now my girls left im lonely my hubby works away and decided to do so with out asking me do I mind do I want to go with him , he wont talk he makes small fake conversations I feel I don't deserve to be treated like this I wanted us but its not happening I try to talk with him to resolve the proble he says he try but makes no effort and goes back to his old ways . also im left in isolated town with no money for food petrol he just dosent support me emotional fiancialy but tells me he loves me this not love am I asking to much or is this normal I should put up with it or walk out as he wont change he gets short fused when I try to sort things out im tied of it I feel if its hard work its not worth it please give me so advise as im now falling depressed out of love
Submitted: 11 months ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help.

You should feel desperate, abandoned, abused, and discarded.

I agree with your children.

This man is being very cruel to you in an exceptional manner.

He is lying to you when he tells you that he loves you because he knows that saying this to you is enough to hold you where he can feel he controls you.

He is quite possibly a narcissit and the quicker you can leave him the better off you are.

If you stay with him you will end up sad and lonely

Do what you can to get out of this relationship as soon as you can

End contact with this man who has thrown you away as if you were no more than a used tissue.

He is destroying your spirit and crushing you. Leave him and dont look back.

If you do this then you will be able to start your life anew.

I shall keep you in my prayers for great success.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.


I think your right but its hard to do that when I have nothing . im bit unsure if he had an affair one night we were at his bosses 40th x his sons 10th birthday this woman his bosses sister inlaw said to me I dint know my husband was married I said yes we have a family she said oh he acts as if hes single and boy he can snore my husband heard this and said no to lady u must have me mistake for someone else , the lady replys no its u I kept my quiet watched them then later they both disappeared I went looking I found them in kitchen talking then I stared at them pretended I had to go to the bath room my hubby looked at me put his head down and walked out , before we went out he all of a sudden got moody he had argument wf our daughter but I feel there was more to it than hes letting me know. I have a bad gut feeling it just dosent seem right and im very blind to a lot this stuff normanly . do u think hes have affair ? how can I tell if its affair or hes just nasty to me . hes so nice to everyone else his family he go out his way for them but me and the girls were put on the back bench help

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Lynda,

This man has obviously cheated on you. The woman was surprised and probably hurt to find out that the man she had been sleeping with was married, and let you know by telling you "boy he can snore", and said it so that he could hear.

After that he had to go talk to her privately about what had just happened.

Of course this is true. Your husband acts like he is single, and it seems more and more that he behaves as a narcissist would. He puts on a great show of being a nice man, when in reality he is abusive to his family (putting daughters on back burner, as you say, is abusive by neglect.

As I said before, it is time to leave him. Find the BEST attorneyo that you can find and sue him for divorce. He will need to pay child support for the children, and if he can afford it, according to the courts, he will have to pay alimony for you.

You should not spend any more energy on a cruel, lying, cheating man who abuses you.

I think I have been very clear in my advice. You cannot fix this. He will never change,even if he says he will.

I hope that I have helped you. Please let me know.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 11 months ago.
It's a bit hard to leave ATM I have a daughter getting married in November I don't want to spoil her special day . Do u really think he slept wf her he keeps saying he didn't and won't talk about it . He says to move forward don't bring up the past . He's a real charmer to other people . But I feel fake to me he kiss me says he loves me but I cannot bring my self to saying it back . My children are all adults now . I have had good times we have thus connection but there's more bad times he keeps messing up wont keep hes word and improve . What are the signs he's having affair .
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 11 months ago.
Dear Lynda,

Everything about this man is fake. He is a liar, a manipulator, and abuser. One of his lovers already told you that he snores. Was she listening at his door or lying next to him?

She was surpirsed he was married. He obviously told her that he was single before he slept with her..

He is a liar and a cheater and doesn't care about anybody except himself.

If you cannot accept this, then continue in the relationship and you will get more of the same. You will not be the first woman to stay in a terribe relationship and not want to see what is in front of her face.

You will not spoil her special day by breaking up with him. It has NOTHING to do with her marriage. You seem to be looking for a reason to stay in this failed relationship. Perhaps you need to experience more rejection and heartache.

I shall continue to keep you in my prayers and I would be most grateful if you would give me postive feedback for my caring, professional advice and time, so that JustAnswer can give me credit for my work. I do this because I love to help others and because this is how I make my living.

May God bless you and give you strength.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you

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