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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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i have an old business friend who is a widorer for 3 yrs.

Resolved Question:

i have an old business friend who is a widorer for 3 yrs. I would like to date him . don't know how to contact him to make th move we are not kids 65 yr olds
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

I believe that I can help with this situation.

This is not really difficult to do.

Presumably you have his phone number, mail address, or email address. If there is a place that he frequents that might be best if you can "accidentally" run into him, if you are concerned about appearances of making the first move.

I believe that the best approach that you can take is to just call him up on the phone and tell him that he has come into your mind a few times recently. Continue that you realy have his enjoyed his company in the past. Ask him what he is doing next weekend (or whenever is a good time) and invite him to a specific restaurant for dinner.

If he says that he is busy that evening (and he very well may be), then propose another SPECIFIC date, rather than leaving it open.

Chances are that he will accept. If he doesn't accept the first date and you leave it open, then you will have missed a good chance for you have already broken the ice once and you may be less likely to break it the second time.

This is an acceptable, proper, and effective technique of making a date, and chances are he will be delighted and enthusiastic about the prospect.

If not, you will have to take him off your list.

I wish you great success and shall keep you in my prayers to that end.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Customer: replied 1 year ago.
what a beautiful answer. AND II DO BELIEVE YOU ARE THE EXPERT. HOWEVER, I WOULD THINK DINER IS A LOT FOR THE FIRST THING AND THEN WHO PAYS ???/ WHAT WOULD YOU THINK OF ME ASKING HIM IF HE WOULD LIKE TO GO TO A MOVIE WITH ME THAT I HAVE WANTED TO SEE FOR A LONG TIME ALL MY FRIENDS HAVE ALREADY BEEN ? I THINK IAM GOING TO DO THE WRONG THING THANKS XXXXX
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Dear XXXXX,

This is a long-term investment. Who cares who pays? Even if you offer he will insist and then you can counter with Dutch treat.

At dinner you can talk, look into each others eyes, and learn about each other and your chemistry.

You can't do this at a movie.

It is NOT about the movie. If you are interested in the movie you can go by yourself. If you are interested in him, then do dinner.

I understand that you are afraid of rejection and movies are safer, but they are no way to get a friendship (or romance) off the ground when compared to dinner. Make it a nice quiet place with good food and nice ambience.

You are trying to start a courtship, to use the proper but old-fashioned word. Do it right.

I would accept either but I would prefer dinner. You will learn much more, positive or negative, over dinner than at a movie.

I wish you great success.

Elliott Wink
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7663
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
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