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Dear Debra
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1835
Experience:  I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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sooo i like this girl.... and she likes me back... and she

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sooo i like this girl.... and she likes me back... and she said that since we never saw each other during summer, it would be best to start during school. but when school happened, she doesnt act like my girlfriend, but more as a friend.. and i held out for a long time. and its been weeks since she said that. i asked out her three times to see if thats why she didnt act like my girlfriend.. and she answers everytime ill think about it... should i wait for her or move on?

and another question if you dont mind answering.. theres this girl i used to date... and me and her are good friends. yet i think she still sees me as boyfriend material.. cause i hug her and she hold mes tight like dont leave me( but not like dont leave me psychotic but more as i miss you) does this mean she likes me still?
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Dear Debra replied 1 year ago.

Dear XXXXX : Thank you for your question.
Dear XXXXX : It sounds like she was disappointed that she did not see her over the summer.
Dear XXXXX : I think she needs to know that you like her and want to be with her.Abduction
Dear XXXXX : She says she will think about it because she wants to make sure you truly want to be with her.She
Dear XXXXX : wants to know that you are serious about being in a relationship.
Dear XXXXX : The girl you use to date sounds like she is still interested in you.Use
Customer:

i mean.. i show her that i do.... i act like a boyfriend... i walk her to practice, and class.. sit with her at lunch, and we talk alot about various topics...

Dear XXXXX : This is really good. It sounds like you are already boyfriend and girlfriend.
Dear XXXXX : I think she might be just saying she will think about it but she already knows you and her are together.
Customer:

true..... but she doesnt show it... she acts like we are the best friends in the movies where she likes another guy, but i like her and she doesnt know til like the end....

Customer:

is there any other way i can show her my love?

Dear XXXXX : Some times people care and love someone so much that they get nervous to make things offical out of fear of losing the person. I think she is worried that she might lose you if she puts a label on your relationship.
Dear XXXXX : Prople get nervous when they have such a good relationship they worry about things changing.
Dear XXXXX : She might be worried that if she says yes things will change and she doesn't want that.
Dear XXXXX : but you need to tell her some times love is worth the risk. Explain that things will not change because you care for her.
Customer:

i see......okay thank you... and what do i do about my ex....?

Dear XXXXX : It's important she knows how you feel and try to get her to tell you how she feels.
Dear XXXXX : You welcome. Your ex still has feelings for you and I feel she would if asked would be in a relationship with you.
Dear XXXXX : Her hugging you like she misses you is a sign she still wants to be a part of your life.
Dear XXXXX : It sounds like she wants you to still be a part of your life.
Dear XXXXX : She is still holding on to the fact that you and her might have a second chance together.
Customer:

but she knows that i like someone and she likes me back....... should i ask her when did re-develop or develop feelings again? and she smiles like everytime she sees me...and im like "cover face with hand and walk by so that she doesnt see you". we literally used to be good and friends and stuff...

Dear XXXXX : I would ask her when she developed feeling for you again, but I don't think her feelings for you ever went away. I think they have always been there.
Dear XXXXX : She knows that you like someone else but she is hoping that you choose her.
Dear XXXXX : She is hoping that you notice her and want to be with her instead of someone else.
Customer:

i see...... so should i tell her im sorry and explain why i chose the girl i like over her?

Dear XXXXX : Yes, if you are not interested in her then you should tell her. It would be good for her to know so she doesn't think there is a chance for you and her.
Customer:

but how can i break her down gently? cause when the tears arise... in my mind.... i ragequit because i dont know what to do afterwards

Dear XXXXX : You want to explain why you do not want to get back together.
Dear XXXXX : Right now she thinks she has a chance with you.
Dear XXXXX : she thinks that you will change your mind. You want to ask her to talk for a minute.
Dear XXXXX : Then you say too her something like this, " I couldn't help but notice that you seem interested in me. I think we are great friends and I feel things should stay that way.
Dear XXXXX : i am interested in someone else and I feel it is best for us to continue our friendship. I like things the way they are and I would not want them to change."
Dear XXXXX : I think telling her you are not interested is going to be hard because she will be upset and disappointed.
Dear XXXXX : If she begin to cry console her and tell her you are sorry that things have to be this way.
Dear XXXXX : But you value your friendship with her.
Customer:

okay.. thank you

Dear XXXXX : You welcome and thank you for your questions.
Dear Debra, Advice Columnist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1835
Experience: I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
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