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Dr. Paige
Dr. Paige, Psychologist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 1427
Experience:  Ph.D. Licensed Psychologist
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if you ask your partner of 13 years a question that he doesnt

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if you ask your partner of 13 years a question that he doesn't like and then he wont answer his phone or speak to you for days -what does it mean -when he knows how much it hurts me when I cant talk to him
It means that he isn't respectful enough of the relationship to have a conversation with you. Not being able to communicate is a problematic issue. It depends what question it was and if he has a history of doing this to you as well. He is not acting very mature. If this is a question that he is avoiding so diligently, maybe there is some truth to it? Without any more detailed info, I can't give you a lot more than that. If you want to elaborate, we can go a bit further.
Customer: replied 3 years ago.

yes he has done this before. we have been talking about him moving in with me in Oct. suddenly he says he never told me he would....

Oh no, ok well if he has a history of this behavior, this isn't good. He is avoiding things, important things. You have to be able to work through this some how with him as an over all issue in your relationship because it is just going to get worse. If he avoids you over this, he will avoid you over anything in the relationship and then what? You can't have a healthy relationship when this is going on. Regardless of your living situation now or in the future, you need to talk with him about his lack of ability to discuss real issues. As I said, you can't let this go and just hope it blows over or that you can navigate through it because you aren't going to be able to. 13 years is a long time and if he hasn't learned how to talk to you by then, this is a major concern. Specifically, if this is about moving in, then he is not wanting that to happen for some reason either. Again, another major concern. I don't know if you are in the situation where you NEED to move in with him, but if you aren't, I would hold off for now until you both can get some help with these problems. Please don't ignore these problems. They aren't going to fix themselves, only get worse. He is going to HAVE to communicate with you. If he doesn't want to, you are going to have a very difficult time in your future with this man.
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Customer: replied 3 years ago.

Thank you.

Please feel free to keep me posted.

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