How JustAnswer Works:

  • Ask an Expert
    Experts are full of valuable knowledge and are ready to help with any question. Credentials confirmed by a Fortune 500 verification firm.
  • Get a Professional Answer
    Via email, text message, or notification as you wait on our site.
    Ask follow up questions if you need to.
  • 100% Satisfaction Guarantee
    Rate the answer you receive.

Ask Rafael M.T.Therapist Your Own Question

Rafael M.T.Therapist
Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience:  MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
65591635
Type Your Relationship Question Here...
Rafael M.T.Therapist is online now
A new question is answered every 9 seconds

Since youre a guy you could maybe help me...My ex is sending

Customer Question

Since youre a guy you could maybe help me...My ex is sending me mixed signals and im hoping you can help me figure out what he wants.. its been 8 months and we hadnt talked till like august and they were little tiny conversations and i went to his house for a party one night and he kept looking at me and out of everyone there he texted me and old me to take out the pizza and save him and his friend some then i had texted him a few times and got replies which is a step! then he was snapping me with his sister a few times and then recently he snapped me with his friend...but then lately hes been talking to this girl on snap chat like everyday for the past few days and idk what to do or think...
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Hello, I am Rafael. Thanks for asking your question - I'm here to support you. (Information posted here is not private or confidential but public).

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

For how long were you together and what led you to end your relationship?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

The behaviors you have described do not show any significant real interest in this person about you. But you are the only one who know this person closely, know how he used to think, feel, react and value things, then use such experience to effectively assess this present situation.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I'll be here looking forward your reply, or if you could join the chat for us to talk about it.

Customer:

we were together for a year and i dont know why it ended and still dont ive heard many things hes told people but hasnt told me.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to hear this happened this way. It is very frustrating , sad and I'd say abusive for a person to just leave and end a relationship without any valid reason like he did.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Such behavior is without doubt immature, very dysfunctional and abusive, and I do not believe anybody deserve to go through such a situation under any circumstance.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

When a person acts the way he did , it would not be wise to expose yourself to the same situation again, unless you know for sure, not because of words but from concrete actions that such person has truly changed and matured, and for that to happen real work and time are necessary, which I do not see you have mentioned any in your message, but immature and manipulative behavior.once he knows how you feel, how he left you and how his actions could affect you.

Customer:

Well we were really strong for the longest time and everything was smoothly going but hockey started to change him and then things just went downhill really really fast...

Customer:

He was mature while we were together and it changed when we ended..

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I am sorry to know how much he changed. When assessing how a good match a person could be for dating you need to take into account what experience shows you. If a person shows sensitivity, affection and caring about you and then suddenly changes, it would mean that person was playing a role more than being truly genuine and honest, since a mature and honest person does not suddenly transforms into an immature and insensitive person.

Customer:

thats very true... it kills me that that happened but he did have a big ego...a very big ego...so i feel like that didnt help much at all

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You bet it doesn't. I believe that even when it's been this painful for you, it's much better for you to have awaken to reality this soon than attaching yourself even more and making your life depend on a person like him, who does not deserve you at all.

Customer:

yes thats true...i miss him all the time and it kills me when i see hes talking to other girls and he brought out the true happiness of me and i am happy but its not like it was and i saw a future with him...

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It is very painful, but as sad and frustrating as it may sound, life requires painful experiences for us to learn,mature and grow wiser, to take better care of ourselves and not to allow people to use, abuse or neglect us under any circumstance.

Customer:

so did you say u didnt see that he has any interest in me?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, I think he may have an interest but not one that would be healthy for you

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

People who are immature and even abusive, would try to do as much as they can to keep the people they use or abuse as long as possible, since they feel empowered by it. his is why trusting and allowing yourself to be influenced or manipulated by people like him would never be a healthy choice.

Customer:

oh! so u think i should try be done done?

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Yes, I believe that based on your story this person is far from deserving you and your love, and could not be a healthy presence in you life at all.

Customer:

okay it will take me a really long time being its taken me 8 months and im still broken but i can try..

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

You need to, it's never easy but necessary and worthy.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

It is a process and you would not only heal, but learn, and become wiser and stronger from it, and you would not have to go through the same pain in the future, you would know better, and even feel grateful for having had this painful but very helpful experience.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

If you do not want to relapse an self-sabotage, consider individual counseling as the ideal source of support for you to work on yourself, and for effective coping. Feel free to contact me since I am willing to support you as possible.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Avoid isolating yourself or passively fueling unhealthy thoughts or hopes around something that does not match reality, be totally truthful with yourself, and take consistent action, getting around healthy people, getting into activities, experiences and friendships that happen to be truly healthy, meaningful and fulfilling, that way you would not be wasting your energy in self-destructive patterns or allowing anybody to fool you using attachment or feelings involved.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

I support you. Thank you for your trust.

Rafael M.T.Therapist :

Remember to keep in touch to follow up. I am here to support you.

Rafael M.T.Therapist, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 3189
Experience: MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
Rafael M.T.Therapist and 2 other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I texted him today... i know i shouldnt have but i did and it hurt me..

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

I just couldnt handle it cause i missed him and i was in his town last night and today...

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

Am i really actually obsessive?

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.
Customer: replied 1 year ago.

oh okay

Expert:  Rafael M.T.Therapist replied 1 year ago.
THIS ANSWER IS LOCKED!
You can view this answer by clicking here to Register or Login and paying $3.
If you've already paid for this answer, simply Login.

JustAnswer in the News:

 
 
 
Ask-a-doc Web sites: If you've got a quick question, you can try to get an answer from sites that say they have various specialists on hand to give quick answers... Justanswer.com.
JustAnswer.com...has seen a spike since October in legal questions from readers about layoffs, unemployment and severance.
Web sites like justanswer.com/legal
...leave nothing to chance.
Traffic on JustAnswer rose 14 percent...and had nearly 400,000 page views in 30 days...inquiries related to stress, high blood pressure, drinking and heart pain jumped 33 percent.
Tory Johnson, GMA Workplace Contributor, discusses work-from-home jobs, such as JustAnswer in which verified Experts answer people’s questions.
I will tell you that...the things you have to go through to be an Expert are quite rigorous.
 
 
 

What Customers are Saying:

 
 
 
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
< Last | Next >
  • Wonderful service, prompt, efficient, and accurate. Couldn't have asked for more. I cannot thank you enough for your help. Mary C. Freshfield, Liverpool, UK
  • This expert is wonderful. They truly know what they are talking about, and they actually care about you. They really helped put my nerves at ease. Thank you so much!!!! Alex Los Angeles, CA
  • Thank you for all your help. It is nice to know that this service is here for people like myself, who need answers fast and are not sure who to consult. GP Hesperia, CA
  • I couldn't be more satisfied! This is the site I will always come to when I need a second opinion. Justin Kernersville, NC
  • Just let me say that this encounter has been entirely professional and most helpful. I liked that I could ask additional questions and get answered in a very short turn around. Esther Woodstock, NY
  • Thank you so much for taking your time and knowledge to support my concerns. Not only did you answer my questions, you even took it a step further with replying with more pertinent information I needed to know. Robin Elkton, Maryland
  • He answered my question promptly and gave me accurate, detailed information. If all of your experts are half as good, you have a great thing going here. Diane Dallas, TX
 
 
 

Meet The Experts:

 
 
 
  • Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
< Last | Next >
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/DE/deedeeham/2011-1-24_51523_408.64x64.JPG Dear Debra's Avatar

    Dear Debra

    Advice Columnist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1719
    I have been an Advice columnist for 14 years. My column is published weekly in local newpapers.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/formybunch/2010-12-06_191055_img_0975.jpg Kate McCoy's Avatar

    Kate McCoy

    Counselor

    Satisfied Customers:

    1235
    Over 20 years experience specializing in anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol, and relationship issues
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/RE/resolutions66/2011-1-17_05728_IMG8202smilingeditedforJustAnswer.64x64.jpg Elliott, LPCC, NCC's Avatar

    Elliott, LPCC, NCC

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    1215
    35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/CO/CoachJenK/2012-3-9_31019_Jen.64x64.jpg Coach Jen K.'s Avatar

    Coach Jen K.

    LMSW, CPC

    Satisfied Customers:

    726
    Providing the utmost care and support.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/IN/intrapsyc.com/2012-2-20_161928_RGMTPicturex5002012.64x64.png Rafael M.T.Therapist's Avatar

    Rafael M.T.Therapist

    Psychotherapist

    Satisfied Customers:

    549
    MHT-MHRS-MS-MA Integral Psychotherapist & Life Coach
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/HU/hungryjack20/IMG_1281_edit_2.64x64.jpg Dr. L's Avatar

    Dr. L

    Psychologist

    Satisfied Customers:

    349
    Licensed as a Psychologist and Marriage & Family Therapist.
  • http://ww2.justanswer.com/uploads/SU/suzmsw/2011-9-2_184634_Thisone.64x64.JPG Suzanne's Avatar

    Suzanne

    Therapist, LCSW

    Satisfied Customers:

    338
    Experienced in treating trauma, relationship issues, co-dependency
 
 
 

Related Relationship Questions