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Elliott, LPCC, NCC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience:  35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
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I have this boyfriend for 11 month. got feeling he lying me.

Customer Question

I have this boyfriend for 11 month. got feeling he lying me. Each time I text Todd he reply next day like said I am busy, phone dead, left my phone in car. Sometime he text me morning goodmorning babe when he working, when he not working he don't text me two days later. You see he work for Rn nurse. Todd have three daughters plus ex girlfriend with him he told me he have nothing to do ex relationship he sleep down stair on couch and ex sleep up stair bed. Todd spent lots of money on older daughter rather than save money for our vacation. Todd baby daughter he support her as he told me his ex did on purpose get pregnant he did not want another child he got angry with her. Now come text it get angry each day he only text me three days a week for only hour. Never spent time with me or going out date because his older daughter move back Todd he don't visit me after work because he have to babysit his baby daughter. I don't know what to believe Todd I want know his text with other women right now I am not texting Todd anymore even he texting at break time when he working. He said he will help me when my father goes as you know I living my father and helping my father as he need it he 83 yrs old. Now come problems between my father and Todd it get into my nerves. Other thing that is Todd never told his family about us together. My feeling is that he only want sex. Have been sex once a month when he free time. Last week he texting me other women he work for Todd and talk about blow job and turn out be jokes he try make me jealous something like that. He likes to plays jokes whether is real or not. This are really stress me out between Todd, my father and work. I don't even know what to do break up Todd like I don't want to that Todd my first true love. I have been cry every day and can't sleep because he in my dreams. I have never date any men all the yrs I have been working through yrs and living with my parents now my mother pass away in January I miss mom a lot. I have been thinking spy Todd phone but I don't want it to do it it scare me. It so hard for me now going through this. Right now try keep phone off fews days it bother me by checking if Todd text me keep asking why are you texting me any more this is exact what he doing to me not texting for hours and days it gets me angier. I ready need help I don't want talk to my silibling about this. I have no friends except my work. I am lonely at home.I do lot work at home laundry, cooking, cleaning and few thing work around house. Another thing is my father does not like what I am doing things in house. He cannot do any much because he a lot of pain there. If dad going to nursing home Todd and I will have good relationship and now our relationship turn out not good at all. Thank you
Submitted: 1 year ago.
Category: Relationship
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Seeking expert testimony is a sign of strength. A personal relationship with a caring professional is proven clinically effective.

Dear friend,

It sounds as if Todd is using you for occasional sex, and otherwise does not treat you as a friend or as someone he cares about. He knows that he can control you and that you will keep hanging on for any little crumb or favor that he gives to you.

He puts everyone ahead of you and doesn't tell about you.

He is living with his so-called ex. That is not an ex. They have children together, I believe you implied, and they probably have sex as well, living under the same roof.

Todd seems to be a liar and a person who has no real love or concern for you at all.

You would do best to drop him from your life. You are barely in his life - only for occasional sex when he want it.

This relationship just gets you angry and frustrated and keeps you from having a real relationship with a man who loves you and has time for you. Todd does not love you and has no time for you.

The best thing you can do is to move on with your life and finding someone who cares.

I shall keep you in my prayers.

Warm regards,

Elliott, MAE, LPCC, NCC, CCMHC
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 1 year ago.
Thank you so much, Peggy. May God bless and protect you.

Elliott
Customer: replied 12 months ago.

I have talk to todd about us to whether he choose me or baby mother the one who live with todd (Maryln). He still avoid my text message. He did asking me vacation with him next month before. I know he will be angry all this situation choose between maryln or me. He may still love me it hard to let go and for me too let him go. I am trying right now I cry everyday and depression. I miss everything we had together. It to hard let is go hopefully it goes well that I don't talk todd at all. There is one thing that last july he brought my car and he told me for his oldest daughter thing is he had not paid me yet. I told todd once you get my money please mail to me and don't come to my house never want see you. I noticed few time he drives daughter car. He told it good for his daughter use car go to work and play soccer. And now he drives his daughter car make me wonder that maryln using todd car go to work make me he set me up is daughter really using the car or not only todd only drives. It makes me angry that he not telling me anything. between maryln and todd. How am I going through this I did told todd why he drive daughter car did not reply. I want to give up everything but how am I going to this it hard. Try forget his name not that easy. and last week just found out he on holiday as he told me that he take two day off as not holiday or vacation and he was off 7 days and he also told me that he did not have money to paid our vacation for us. I check todd every move every thing is lie. sometime I sleep good and some not get dreams of todd and I crys. I don't know what to do even I know leave todd for good. I do love todd it tear me apart.


Peggy

Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 12 months ago.
Dear Peggy,

Todd is a mean and selfish liar. He has deceived you and taken money from you and just uses you because he is no good

Pray to God and thank him that Todd is gone and ask Him to help you forget about Todd, who is a bad person that doesn't care one bit about you.

Losing someone is hurtful, even if it is a bad person. You will have to continue to suffer until the pain goes away.

Do not contact him again.

Throw away any pictures or souvenirs of him or anything to remind you of him.

If you see him on the street, turn around and walk the other way.

If he contacts you don't reply.

If he calls, hang up the phone.

Write a letter to him stating all the reasons that you do not like him. Don't send the letter, however. Burn it instead.

You are dirt to Todd and he disrespects you. Don't ever say again that you love him and get his out of your mind as anything other than a selfish, controlling person who has hurt you and doesnt even care.

May God help and bless you, Peggy.

Warm regards,

Elliott
Elliott, LPCC, NCC, Psychotherapist
Category: Relationship
Satisfied Customers: 7662
Experience: 35 years of experience as a Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor, National Certified Counselor and a college professor.
Elliott, LPCC, NCC and other Relationship Specialists are ready to help you
Expert:  Elliott, LPCC, NCC replied 12 months ago.
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